MY YEARS WITHOUT YOU

Part 77- In his arms

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It's been a week since my child left but my grief was still on.
I wasn't one to heal quickly but, I had come to accept that he was gone for good.

I didn't want to forget him so soon.
I was still mourning and wearing my black gown to signify that.

Oge and Ola had returned to their families.

Mum was worried that I might turn suicidal so she asked Tola to keep a close eye while she was away.

It was just me at home this time as Tola had left to attend to a few things at work.

Life felt lonely without my child.
I watched his pictures on my phone.

Chi-nyelu had left me with nothing but beautiful memories.
And these memories made it harder to forget his little being.

Each slide brought back those tears I had been longing to keep away.

Why did this Joy come in the first place when it was going to be cut short?

The knock on the door brought me back from my thoughts.

I wiped my eyes and sniffed in as I stood and walked towards the door.

"Who's there ?" I uttered , sniffing in afterwards.

There was no response.

I opened the door and there he stood, right in front of me.

His hair was bushy and his chin had become filled with thick beards.
His fair skin had become tanned from labouring under the sun.
His wrinkles had grown obvious, especially around his eyes.

It made me realize how much could change in a year.
I just stood there staring at him, indecisive and short of words.

"Amara" he called out in almost a whisper. His voice cracked as he spoke.

I looked at his eyes and I found the tears falling slowly.

"I'm so sorry" he said slowly, placing emphasis on every word.

I starred blankly at him as he spoke , tears still in his eyes.

"Amara" he called out again taking few steps towards me while I kept watching him, my emotions slowly taking a hold of me.

Like his voice was all I needed to hear, I broke down in tears like a child.

He rushed towards me as I was slowly crumbling to the ground with tears blurring my sight.

I didn't know what exactly I was crying for. I didn't know if it was for the baby I had just lost, the fact that I felt that I might have failed Nathan or the fact that I was seeing Nathan a Freeman for the first time in 15 years.

"I'm sorry" he cried out slowly as he held me in his arms on the floor while I cried more.

He wiped my eyes and turned my face to look at him.
When I looked at him, I saw the man I had fallen in love with, those eyes thought old and wrinkled still bore the charm I had seen when we first met.

I opened my mouth to speak even though I didn't know what I wanted to say first.

I stammered in between tears and he drew my head back to his chest  and spoke slowly to me.

"I know Amara" he said slowly.

I wasn't sure what he knew , but he stared continuously at me and then to my black dress and then to me and spoke again, holding my face in place to look at him.

"I can forgive" he cried , like one who was deeply hurt.

Even though I wasn't sure if he actually knew everything that happened and the details of everything, I looked at him and all I could see was a sorry man.

I began to feel guilty as I cried again, this time hugging him tight as I cried on his shoulder.

We sat there and cried our eyes out as we both had thoughts of how much we had to go through in fifteen years.

It didn't matter anymore because at this point, we had nothing but ourselves.

It took me to be in his arms again to realize that we had just ourselves from the start.

Even though I was worried about how he got to know where I lived , how he found out about everything and how truly he wanted to forgive me.

He walked me back into the house and sat me down as we stared each other in the eyes.

It felt like we were strangers as we were mute and had nothing to say , but our minds kept speaking to each other as our eyes remained locked in the other's gaze.

His filled with tears and mine with uncertainty of what the future holds for us after all we've had to go through.

                         THE END OF
AMARA'S CHOICE ❣️