MY YEARS WITHOUT YOU

Part 53-Secrecy🤐

Hey my people,
Each time I make up my mind to complete this book, I fail at it because I'm choked up with school stuffs. But don't worry, I'm on track hopefully and I would be sure to release a chapter every week. 🙌🙌

Thanks to those who added this book to their reading lists, be sure to read it too.💕💕.

~Nathan's POV~

She still looked as beautiful even with her slight aging.
I couldn't stop looking at her , nor could I stop her from coming to my thoughts.

Seeing her today made me want to make everything better again. It made me want to threat her right and be that man she thinks I am.

I sat at the corner as we did our evening chores.
I had just seen my wife and even though I had never mentioned it to her, seeing her always made me weak and helpless.

I picked on the grasses close to me and stared at the other inmates doing their duties.
I was through with mine and I didn't want to go in yet, at least not now.

I needed space to think of what my life would be after now.

"Hey Nath" his voice called.

I looked up and it was Kelvin. I looked away quickly.
I needed space but with him here, it wasn't guaranteed.

He didn't need my permission to sit down.
He picked a plant as well and together we starred at the other inmates.

"I know how hard it must have been Nath" he said slowly.

I knew what he was talking about.

" How did she take it?" he asked looking at me this time.

I bowed my head slightly and said nothing to him.

He sighed and turned quiet.

"You didn't tell her did you?" He asked.

I closed my eyes bitterly.

"I couldn't bring myself to tell her, she already looked too tired of everything. I can't choose to loose her to this truth"

He was silent.

"I just want to do things right by her , but I feel telling her that I'm guilty would change everything.
I might not have the chance to make her happy if I do"

He looked at me , and I could tell he was disappointed.

"Nathan, if she didn't leave you in all these years, why would she leave you now?" He asked trying to make me see reasons.

"You don't get it do you?" I asked in a frustrated tune.

He looked away.

"She's still with me because of this lie"

"That's not enough reason to still be with you. She could have left if she wanted to. She's waiting because she loves you" he broke in.

"It's easier for you to say. I don't expect you to understand this" I said.

We were both silent.

"My term is almost over, so I would let the truth out when I get out of here" I was raging.

"I can't risk it all kelvin, if she leaves me, I  don't think I can find reasons to live again"

Kelvin was quietly listening.

"And you think you would be bold enough to tell her the truth when you get out of here"

I looked at him and away.

"I just feel you should do the right thing. That's the only way you can clear your thoughts from this guilt you constantly live in."

I sighed.

"It's not easy , especially now that you've kept it all these years, but then, your wife has the right to know." He said slowly as he stood up afterwards and left.

He left me in my thoughts and guilt.
Why did I let this go this far?

I had earlier made up my mind to tell Amara about it all, but when I saw her sit in the visiting room and waiting for me to come to her, I couldn't help it.

She was looking tired and I just didn't want to add to her worry.
I wasn't sure she would forgive me in that state.

I don't know if I would be able to let this truth out anytime soon.

       What do you think would happen if Nathan tells Amara that he was actually guilty of the crime?
Do you think she would stay because she feels she has already waited so long?
Or do you think she would go because she's angry with him?
🤔🤔