Hold on to me (On Hiatus)

•Chapter 2•

  I gave them a bored look. What could they possibly want from me? Almost bullying me to death wasn't enough?

  "What?"

  "We can't sit here?" Said Liam.

  "As a matter of fact, no you can't. We have no business at all, so if you all, could kindly get up and go back to where you were, that would be very much appreciated."

  Leaning towards me, Asher says, "We just want to catch up, don't we brothers?"

  Liam and Carson said 'yes' in a scarily synchronized way, that if I was in a horror movie, I would have been on the next flight to Jamaica. Putting my hand on my cheek I leaned into it and let out a shaky breath. Who did they think they were?

  "You know what? There is NOTHING we need to catch up on, you know what you did, what all three of you did. You want me to just forget that? You can kiss my black ass if you think I'll be near you willingly. I'd rather die."

  "We're deeply sorry for what we did in the past Sam, and we regret EVERY moment that we bullied you. I know we can't make up for our mistakes in the past, but we can make our present and future better." Carson said, eager to change my mind.

  I laughed. A big one too. A spray bottle sounding one. A whole knee slapper. They were funny to think that after all the slut-shaming, body-shaming, and verbal abuse I got from them and other people, I would want to fucking be near them again. Thinking about all the things they said to me made my skin crawl.

             *⚠️Trigger warning ⚠️*
(Scenes of attempted suicide and self-harm)

Cut after cut after cut. One more I told myself. Just one more. Watching as the blood came out of each cut and run off my arm into the water, I cried. I cried because I felt so ugly, felt so disgusting. I hated my Dark skin, I hated my body. 

I looked at the pills on the sink counter. The doctor said that taking 3 or more pills could be deadly. I just wanted to test her theory to make sure she's correct. As I reached over in the bath to grab the bottle of pills, there was a knock at the door. My head snapped towards the locked door.

  "Yes?"

  "Honey, are you ok?"

  "Yeah Grandma, I'm fine, I'll be out in a few."

  "Ok dear, don't take too long, I cooked your favorite. Jamaican pumpkin soup."

  "Sounds good, let me just finish up in here."

  "Ok, I love you."

  "Love you too."

  Little did she know I wasn't planning on coming downstairs.

  I grabbed the pills and took out 5 of the little capsules. This is it. I popped them in my mouth and took the glass of water I had  on the table near the bathtub and swallowed. After a minute or so, my mouth started to froth up. Bubbles kept coming out my mouth and I started to convulse. Water splashed everywhere and the pills and glass of water in my hand fell on the bathroom floor.

  All I heard was banging and screaming. I watched as the red liquid in the tub splashed everywhere. Knowing what was coming, I smiled. It would all be over soon. As I was slipping into the darkness, I was grabbed up from the water, and carried onto a stretcher.

  "Stay awake for me, Sam!

  "We're losing her! I need an emergency room right now! Watch her bpm, and hold the mask so she can breathe!"

  I just stared at the ceiling. The EMT lady was trying so hard to save me. I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to die. I was taken to the hospital and got my stomach pumped and all that bad stuff. Through the whole thing I just wanted to die. I went to therapy to get 'Professional help' and after my 'recovery' my grandmother couldn't bare thinking of me doing it again so she sent me away from Mystic Falls. Away from my misery and personal hell. Good thing she did. I gained self-confidence. I'm glad I didn't kill myself. Glad for her.

         *⚠️Trigger Warning done⚠️*

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