Elusion // l.h

Chapter 25- Judgement

"These are just the best." I said not being able to wait while practically inhaling the cheese fries. I was only here last week and I jumped at the chance to come back.

I was rather abrupt to ask Luke to take me, or come with me, but I don't think he thought much of it. I was pleasantly surprised with his random act of chivalry when yelling at my math teacher. It was a nice gesture, and if it weren't for him intervening, I probably would have said something that would have gotten me kicked out of school. I was very close to losing it and Luke knew that. I felt as if a single person was able to take away everything that I worked for in seconds. He had no right to accuse me of something like cheating. Granted, I probably would have tried to cheat if I had no clue of anything, but I would cheat discretely, not getting me a 90%. But the 90% on that test was mine, and it was going to stay mine.

"I know right." A full mouthed Luke said avoiding eye contact as usual. The cheesy treat derailed me from my aggressive thoughts that I knew would come back soon, but in my head was the thought or wonder of why Luke had such a big problem with looking people in the eye.

"Why do you never look at me when you talk?" I asked rather abruptly again. The quick judgment sounded very strange orally, but my lack of filter lately was something I became aware of and stopped caring about. Luke rarely looked people in the eyes at all when he spoke, he looked at Ashton and Calum normally, but that too depended on his mood. His mom got just about as much as I, and everyone else was average, well average for him. I wondered if I just intimidated him because I was frank. He wasn't, he was arrogant and rude, but discreet. Or maybe he just had some sort of problem that he didn't know about.

I noticed how uncomfortable the question made him, and I understood that. How can you really answer a question like that? It was obviously something within him and maybe he didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm sorry you don't have to answer that." I said taking it back.

"No, it's okay." He quietly mumbled.

"I read in this book once," He started and I immediately smiled in a ridiculous way.

"You read a book once?" The sarcastic shock in my voice was immense and he just laughed it off.

"That when you give people your eyes, they can judge you." He explained and I felt my facial expression completely drop. Did he think that I was judging him? The incredibly deep statement perplexed me and made me see something completely different. When did he have the time to think of that? And what book he had that from.

"Do you think I judge you?" I asked. He shrugged trying to act cold again, because he noticed that I saw his vulnerability. It wasn't something to hide or be ashamed of and I wasn't sure how to react or respond.

"If anything, you're the one judging me." I chuckled hoping to bring up the vibe of the conversation but he was still stuck deep in thought. I assumed that he judged me and everyone else around him. It's obvious to me that people who are in different positions than others get judged. Luke wasn't like everyone else at our school. He knew that, and everyone else did too. I always wondered why he wasn't enrolled in some famous and expensive boarding school, since his parents had no issues whatsoever to finance it. I knew a bit about his quarrels with that Jeremy guy and generally that he drastically changed because of it, but it still made me think how he was in the position to judge others around him. He had no issue judging me. I cleaned his room after all, and my mother worked for his parents. It was clear that he judged me from the second I walked through his door, but unlike him, I really didn't care.

"Yes." He said and I was taken back.

"Yes I do think you judge me." Luke confirmed, ignoring my comment in between. Was Luke so insecure that he assumed everyone around judged him? He was right, I did judge him. I judged him when he was self righteous and arrogant. When he contradicted his actions and acted just plain ungrateful for what people did for him, and what people still continue to do for him.