The loud but enjoyable music engulfed my ears as I felt the wind dry my long hair. The rural scenery relaxed my never sore muscles and my arms glistened with the thin layer of sweat from the fast movement. I felt a light burn on my toes from my very old running shoes that were finally giving in. They were not expensive to begin with, and two years of my excessive running only induced burnt rubber and ripped fabric. But burnt rubber and flimsy fabric wasn't going to stop me from enjoying the only thing that cleared my mind.
Checking the clock on my phone; it was just after 8:00. Many might have thought that sleep was all too cherished to be given up for a morning run, but for me there was nothing more therapeutic. I had left my house at 6:00 since I couldn't sleep. Something was bothering me and I couldn't let it go. Every other teenager who goes to school was sound asleep enjoying their day off, but I was on the other side of Sydney making my way home to shower for the second time that morning. My mother would have been home in few hours time and I was happy to have her with me again. The experience of her not being at home was good for me- as much as I didn't want to admit it.
In Atlanta, I was mostly by myself. Independence was not a problem, but once we came to Australia, I felt a magnetic pull to my mother and I just didn't want her to be away from me. Her being away, helped me get some of that independent feeling again. I figured that I would clean up a bit so that she would have a nice clean house to come home to, so I picked up the running pace, so I could do everything I had planned before her arrival.
On my way back to my small little townhouse, I knew that something else was bothering me. I tried my hardest not to admit to it; but last night's events got to me. I made the promise to Ashton, that I would make Luke be grateful for my help, but I wasn't't going to pull him by his ear and wait for him to squirm in gratitude. Luke was what he was and he was obviously not even the slightest bit fazed by what I had done for him. It was like one of those looping roller coasters that were high and low in matter of seconds with great velocity that often gave you whiplash. He had obviously had some sort of remorse for his stupid comment at the mall, or else he would not have apologized. But he continued to pester me to the point where I just wanted nothing more than to pester him until he turned blue.
Too many thoughts and characterizations flowed through my mind and I had come to the realization and to the promise that I made to myself on the big plane. I might have taken my mother's advice, and warmed up to people, but people still weren't trustworthy enough for me just yet. Ashton was what he was. Maggie was what she was. Everyone was what they were and Luke was just that as well. His actions and behavior may had caused confusion or wonder, but it wasn't something I could afford to pay attention to. My only promise to myself, was to be as decent as a person as possible, and give that, what I myself get. Luke might have been rude and vile but my promise of decency could not have allowed me to leave a person on the floor sick. Luke or not. Whether he would have done it for me, was another question that didn't't bother me now. If he were to truly prove his indecency than he would get that, what he deserved. But I wasn't't going to let petty comments or acts of a modern day 'bully' rent parts of my brain for no charge.
Once I cleared my head of all of that, I was able to reminisce on the fun parts of last night's events. The bands were fantastic and I was more than happy to do it again. I did remember being bored sometimes, or just not knowing what to do with myself. I had expected it to be more time spent as a group but everyone scattered away into their own, and left every man for himself. I understood that Ashton was helping Maggie, but it couldn't be that Maggie got wasted every single time and Ashton was her babysitter. I scolded myself for the inner gossip I was having with myself, but it wasn't his job to be the responsible one. But in reality, I wasn't the one to talk, since I babied Luke.
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Elusion // l.h
قصص الهواة"What happens when your worst demon and fear is your father, but your saviour is the arrogant rich boy you work for?"
