Elusion // l.h

Chapter 20- Interrogations

"I'm home!" I heard a happy voice yell. I turned my head, still having Luke's weight in my hand to see my mother walking through the door.

"Mom!" I exclaimed immediately letting go of Luke's hand. Luke stood with his head down and his discomfort was very noticeable. Usually I was the one who was uncomfortable with everything, but that was something I felt start to ease in the last month or so.

I liked to compare myself to tomatoes, which might have been seen as peculiar to most people. Tomatoes start out as nothing. As they start to grow, their process of maturity changes. Some tend to grow fast, some slow. Some turn out to big and some just don't. Every tomato matures in its own way and speed regardless of the other tomatoes growing on the same bush or vine. Now there are those tomatoes, that react differently to things even though the same size or level of maturity tomato reacts the other way. One tomato might be utterly bothered by rain, even though that is what it desperately needs. Putting the anatomy of a versatile fruit aside, I saw myself like that as well lately. I was always that odd tomato who reacted differently to certain situations or even the slightest bit of touch. I felt like being happy wasn't something I could allow myself. I couldn't possibly allow myself to fall in the cycle of a normal teenager who wants things, and feels things because I felt like I should have known better due to my past. But something about last night, and generally the time spent in Australia, I felt like the green inside of me was finding a way to make its transition to red.

I still knew where I stood with myself, and I still felt things and thought about things at night that hinder my slumber. I still woke up in the middle of the night sometimes just restless because I felt like that phone call could come at any moment. That people would be standing at my doorstep, taking my mother away if they ever poked a hole in her perfectly thought out plan. I knew all of that. I knew the betrayal that I felt from the person who was suppose to be a father, and I knew pain. But apart from all of the horrible pain and insomnia, and everything else in between I knew, that I was becoming red somehow. Because I deserved to be red. I deserved to feel that people were trustworthy. And unless someone would prove me wrong, I would try my best to change for the better, and change for myself.

I ran straight over to my mom and hugged her. I didn't want to go too crazy since Luke was in the room, but a hello hug was well deserved.

"You're home early." I told her in excitement.

"We took the earliest flight there was. And there wasn't any traffic from the airport." She smiled taking off her shoes and looking down on the floor skeptically where all of the bottles were.

"I was taking the bin out and it fell." I explained after noticing her glare, kneeling down to put everything in the bin.

"And Luke joined the bottles?" She teased raising an eyebrow at him as he stood a few feet away.

"He's a clumsy one." I spoke up knowing that he probably wouldn't want to have small talk with my mom.

"Go change your shirt, I'll pick these up." She ordered in a humorous yet strange way. I couldn't help but squint for a second looking down at my white and very see through shirt. My hands immediately went for my chest and I nodded getting up.

"Right. My shirt." I winced quickly running up the stairs leaving Luke and my mother alone in the small foyer. The mental scolding began the second my back turned my mom and Luke, since my shirt was see through yet I just didn't care. It wasn't like me to forget about those sort of things so easily yet I had. Quickly changing my shirt, I reflected on the last hour or so wondering if it really happened. My brain wouldn't dream up things such as these of today, but alas I stood in the room confused and satisfied. Satisfaction and confusion were a weird combination yet they were enough. The unlikely thought came to mind that maybe Luke was trying too. It wasn't because of me and I don't think that I play enough of a role in his life to change him, but I think I influenced him the slightest bit.