Elusion // l.h

Chapter 30- Ignorance

I examined myself numerous times and I still wasn't happy. The dress was too much no matter what anyone told me. My mother was completely obsessed with it and wouldn't let me leave the house if I wasn't going to wear it. I stood in front of Tara's body mirror and thought about the events of yesterday. It was a long and very interesting day. My session with Melissa was definitely enough to make a person tired. As much as I didn't want to go into it too much, the little afternoon of Netflix was sort of nice with Luke. He was acting like I thought he would be if he were to act like himself. I wasn't going to say he was acting 'different', because I was smart enough to know that he actually was himself. That fact alone made me think that maybe I was a person that wasn't filled with darkness and weirdness. I might have been readable, but maybe that wasn't all too bad.

After I decided to be weird Andy came in from wherever he was and started bombarding Luke with Uni talk. I knew then, that it was my cue to leave. It was my turn more or less. Luke witnessed my mom and I go at each other and I was sure that his conversation with Andy didn't end too well. Andy and Liz were polar opposites yet both were not what Luke wanted and maybe needed as parents. That was clear to me. Liz was more laid back and didn't take it personally that Luke was a bit different than most who grew up in a privileged home. She still saw him as Luke her son and his clothing or music options didn't bother her. She did however, refuse to see that she wasn't being the maternal person that he actually needed. Boys always pretend that they are so strong and that they have it all figured out, but they need and crave a mother's love more than girls even. He needed her, but of course he would never go to her and tell her that. He doesn't believe that she does in fact love him, because she's just never there. Luke chooses to see every side as a bad one even if it isn't.

Luke's dad on the other hand, was completely different. After Maggie told me what she told me, it was clear that he just completely shut him off. He didn't want to hear his advice or expectations. Luke wasn't like his brothers and it seemed that a lot of angst came from that. Either way, I wasn't Melissa and this wasn't my battle but it was interesting to think about while wearing the dress he bought me and thinking about how wrong it was one me.

"Tara do you think I could borrow something of yours?" I asked quite unsure of myself. Tara -much like every other teenager in this city- had a car and picked me up earlier in the night so we can get ready at her place. I wasn't surprised that her house was also massive and her car was German. Either way, I stood by the mirror and sighed.

"Peyton, what is your problem with this dress?" Tara exclaimed from the bathroom. She gasped when she first saw it in my hands and fell in love with it instantly. Every single person on this planet had some weird unknown love for this dress and there I was, the owner of it, completely put off.

"It's too much." I said and Tara came out wearing half the fabric I was.

"How is that too much? You do realize we are going clubbing right?" She asked and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Obviously but-"

"So no 'buts'. You look hot and that's all that's important." She raised her voice in what seemed to be a motivating way but I still wasn't sure.

"And you have amazing taste. Great buy." She sighed while holding an eyelash curler to her eye.

"Well I didn't buy it, but yeah I guess." I gave in. There was no point to fighting it, this dress obviously found its way to me somehow.

"Well whoever did must love it." Tara somehow mouthed while having her mouth wide open from applying the mascara. She continued to just powder her very white face while I sat down onto her king sized bed and watched her apply the rest of it. There wasn't much else to do since she took forever and every single step was more intense than the last.