Elusion // l.h

Chapter 32- Tricks

Waking up to an empty house was something that I clearly wasn't used to yet. I learned to come to peace with it, but it was a bittersweet feeling. As I hugged her goodbye and closed the door a few days back, I sighed and swallowed my cynical feelings and went upstairs into my room to begin to write in my new journal. It had been a very strange few days.

On Tuesday, I went to lunch with Tara instead of Ashton since she was so keen on talking. I still hadn't fully decided what my friendship with her was and I wondered why she was into doing things with me. I was different than her and our clubbing night made that apparent. Differences aside, I liked her anyway and decided that friendships didn't need reasons or explanations.

I told her my part; which wasn't all that eventful and she told me hers. I was getting a tad bit annoyed having to explain an hour worth of talking and a tweet minute car drive to every person who slightly knew me. I myself didn't even know how I felt about it and telling it to everyone only confused me even more.

Apparently her and Calum didn't really get along on an emotional level and the whole thing was just physical. I hoped that she would spare the details but she unfortunately did not. Although I am not stupid and am older than 12 years of age, I still did not understand the weird boomerang reference she made. Either way, she was pleased with my forthcoming and I found myself nodding all the way through.

On Wednesday I met with Melissa. I was weirdly looking forward to it and I left her office feeling very strange. I guess it was a good thing. I mentioned what Tara said to me about English class and Melissa was a quick thinker and already had a notebook ready for me. That day she asked me to tell her about my relationships to boys, as if she had a camera planted in my eyes somewhere. I almost got chills when she asked me that but obviously the whole thing was a huge coincidence. She asked me a few questions that dug deep and I tried my best to answer them. She knew I tried and I had a feeling that she knew a whole lot more than she led on. But that was her job, maybe she wanted to hear something come from me first. The notebook was more of a task that she told me to do. Every time I was confused about something and overthought, I had to make a bubble of all of the thoughts. I then had to pick one thought and write about it. I had only ten seconds to decide the thought to write about since deciding also lead to overthinking. It was kind of a cool strategy.

Once I stepped into my mother's car I was very reluctant to ask her the question. I didn't know what I was allowed to say, and what not. I was completely torn, because my mother didn't know the whole story. I told myself that I would never burden her with it. The thought alone gave me goosebumps that I didn't need to feel in that moment so I let it go. I'd figure it own on my own. A therapist did have a doctor-patient confidentiality, so I guess I was fine.

Friday was the day that I got the weirdest news. Liz called me over for tea to talk and that was already strange enough. I hadn't had a normal conversation with her in a while and she pretty much told me that I was more or less fired. Obviously I did nothing wrong and it wasn't all that serious but she did tell me that she didn't need my help anymore. Since my mother stopped being her housekeeper/ paperwork person, I didn't need to be cleaning random rooms either. I was a bit taken back and the whole arrangement lacked logic as well as a point. Didn't the Hemmings urgently need a housekeeper? When my mother was job hunting she found out from the concierge who was all into the society life of the wealthy Sydneysiders. But now it wasn't that urgent? Either way, I was no longer obligated to clean Luke's room and that was kind of a bonus to my week. I saw it coming since I was barely there and the tasks kept getting shorter and shorter. Liz thought she was being cool and thoughtful for letting me go, but doing that made me question her intelligence even more.

And then there was today. It was my 18th birthday.

Checking the time, it was 10AM. I had stayed in bed long enough and decided to go for a run. Unlocking my phone I saw the harassment of my mother's text messages wishing me a happy birthday. She had discovered Emojis and it wasn't a pretty sight. She figured I was sleeping and I called her knowing that she wanted to say it to me.