The Fence

Chapter 26: Custody

~Grey~

I clench my hand into a fist, trying desperately to keep myself from getting flustered. I wish that Kirbena hadn't figured it out this way, wished she would have given me the chance to explain.

She did, idiot. You just couldn't.

I let myself groan, and for once, I allow for my emotions to seep through my features. I try to ignore my palms, now nervous with sweat, and the growing heat boiling in my veins. I try to disregard how naive I was to hope no one would find out.

I know she's right though. Kirbena is rash, and indecisive, and stubborn, but she's also smart. And trustworthy.

Demi is not trustworthy.

I have to tell the government about her. I should've done it before now. I can't let her march around here, claiming all she wants to do is bring me home when in reality I'm a different person. I've changed, and she's still Demi. She'll always be Demi.

But can I really stand for what they would do to her? I'd been forced to question a yukos before, and the things they made me say and do to him was sickening. I can remember his cries, pleading with me to stop.

I close my eyes at the memory, trying to push it away.

I warned her, and she didn't listen to me. Like Kirbena, Demi's stubborn, but she's decisive. She knows what she wants, and she won't stop until she gets it. She's determined to bring me back. I have to tell myself that it's her own fault she's getting into this.

But, being me, I can't help but feel it's also mine.

I shake my head at how hypocritical I'm being. Here I am, standing up for a boy, a 15-year-old yukos that I've never met before in my life, when I'm turning Demi to the dogs, leaving her to rot in a cell with shackles around her ankles.

Do I want her to get hurt?

Despite her being important to me, a token in my past, she's such a pressing problem now. She's risking everything I built here, trying to rip me away from what I stand for now. I wanted to badly to send her away, for her own protection and for mine, that I tormented Ayumi into helping me get her off the squad. Notwithstanding my efforts, no one knows why I tried so hard. I needed a reason; I couldn't say "just because".

I find myself standing outside her door, staring at her name printed in golden letters. The longer I look at the door, the more I can feel my heart in my throat, thumping against the sides of my neck and almost choking me. I try to keep my hand steady as I swipe my card through the slot on her door quietly, opening it once it unlocks for me.

Chartreuse meets gray as she looks up to see me in the reflection of her mirror. She smirks, her mischief showing in her eyes, but she only continues to brush through her long, navy hair. I watch as she rakes the bristles through the silk strands, noticing just how much it had grown since I had seen her before she was on the squad.

"Isn't this interesting?" she murmurs, raising an eyebrow at me in the mirror. She carefully places her brush back on her vanity, swiveling in her chair to face me. "I was about to braid my hair. You wanna do it? For old times sake?"

I swallow, but the action only irritates my dry throat. Trying to prepare myself for what I'm about to do, I give her a small, sympathetic smile. I place my hand on top of her head, an action I used to do before I left, and she stares up at me with large, chartreuse eyes.

I know it's surprised her. Showing her warmth now after giving her nothing but coldness since she arrived definitely threw her off.

"What?" she says, gazing at me uncertainly. She reaches for my hand on her head, but before she can touch me, I grab her own arm, securing one side of a handcuff around her wrist. Realization lights up in her eyes, and she wrenches away from me.