The Fence

Chapter 47: Relief

I don't know when I fell asleep, but based on how it was now pitch black I guess it had been a while ago. I frown, forgetting where I was sitting. I search the ground for Sutikka, not feeling safe without him in my hands. After a minute of clumsy patting on the ground, I finally feel his cold, metal rod. I grasp him and bring him on to my lap.

"How long was I asleep?"

"How should I know? I was asleep, too."

"Oh, okay," I murmur. I finally remember where I am. I was laying about 50 feet from the door, and pretty far from the woods. Donte was probably terrified that something had happened to me, but he hadn't come looking, which meant he really did trust me.

"Sutikka? I think I'm scared."

"Why?"

"I'm scared of the yukos, buddy," I sigh. "Everything we've been taught in school is true- that the yukos really are the bad guys. I'd never seen any proof of them hurting us, but I got shot and the base was blown up." I pause, thinking about the fight Ky got into with Arianne earlier. "What if Ky really did have something to do with this? What if Ayumi and Arianne are both right. He did disappear, and he did tell Arianne to go back to her room. He warned her."

"Well, do you think he had something to do with it?"

I sigh. "I just don't know. With the way he's been acting lately, I wouldn't be surprised. He's been so out of it, like his mind is being messed with. He told me he thought the yukos were the innocent ones, but boy does this prove him wrong."

"That may not be true," Sutikka adds. "Maybe a recruit dropped the bomb. You never know, it might not have been a yukos."

"Whoever it was," I whisper. "They have horrible timing."

That was the end of Sutikka and I's talk. I think he's more tired than I am. I've been stealing all his energy for the last few days, he probably had trouble even staying awake in the first place. I gently place him down on the ground, in case I might accidentally be feeding off of his energy again. It's not like he had an endless supply of it; I had to remember that.

I frown, wondering if I should head back to the woods or not. There was no sign of Grey here, and maybe he went back already without seeing me. It was also very dark, making my skin crawl. Although I knew there was probably no alien lurking around the corner, I still didn't feel comfortable walking back to woods alone. Maybe it would have been smarter to keep Donte with me. It was times like these that he was the best company someone could ask for.

With some of my energy back, I decide to stay where I am. If a yukos came, I could defend myself. It was so dark, I'm not even sure if I could find my way to where my squad is. I get that I would still be safer near a squad, even if it wasn't mine. Not wanting to risk getting lost, I sit cross-legged with my hands folded neatly in my lap.

I stare at the sky, small dots of white glittering against the black scape. I never got to see stars. Smog covered the sky inside the fence. It was so strange how as soon as I stepped foot outside of Gambos, I felt so much healthier and free.

I feel a gust of wind. It blows my hair off of my shoulders, and I wrap my arms around my self. I hadn't noticed how chilly it was. It wasn't July anymore. It seemed like only yesterday, all of us received our uniforms. Only yesterday that I met Grey, Luci, Val, and Donte. Time had flown by, and I wasn't sure how. It was now middle of September, and fall was coming on quickly. I sigh, wanting the warmth back. Not just the sun's heat, but I wanted to coldness of the world to go away.

How had things gotten like this? In July, I wanted to kill every yukos I ever saw. So, why was it that when I saw Nixon, I didn't listen to my brain? It was like my heart and my mind were constantly at war, but the thing was...I thought my heart and my mind were on the same page. When did I realize they weren't? I think it was day I saw that skinny boy begging for help. It made me think- the yukos are worse off than us. At least we have some medicine and some food. Nixon had nothing, but I guess I was all wrong. When I made Grey turn Demi in, my mind was thinking: 'good job. This is what you're supposed to be doing.' Yet, my heart was screaming: 'you idiot! They'll kill her! She doesn't deserve that!'