The Fence

Chapter 72: Krimia and Royul

I dip my feet into the clear pool of water, watching a few minnows dart away from them. I let out a sigh, wanting to stay here forever. Or, at the very least, bring my squad here. We'd be safe here, by this waterfall, surrounded by veils of ivy and thick trees. No one would have to find us, or even know we're out here. I can bring my squad here, and we'd live as a family again.

But I can't.

No matter how much I hate this war, I'm apart of it. When I told Grey that I wanted to be in the military, I gave up my freedom to make choices. I have to follow the rules, and I have to be there for Gambos. Because if we're not united, we can't protect the ones we love. And that's the point of the military.

Grey takes a seat next to me, but I don't look up. Instead, I keep my eyes fixed on the water below me. He places a handful of berries next to him, and pops one in his mouth. He turns to me.

"What are you thinking about?"

I reach for a berry myself, taking my eyes off the pool. "Oh, just the squad."

"Do you miss them?"

"Of course...but I also think I scared them. I think they resent me now. I blew up on them."

Grey eyes me carefully while chewing another berry. "Was it about me?"

"Yes. It wasn't just about you, though. It started with the people we saw near the entrance. I described it all...and I freaked everyone out. I accused Raven and Donte of knowing about you. Then, after that, I went numb. I lost all feeling and emotion. It had happened before, but Pine found me and brought me to the camp. I didn't know how to react anymore, so I..." I trail off, wanting to go back in time and fix everything I said wrong. "And then Val got on my case about Nixon. I find out she's the one who gave Nixon the gun that shot me."

Grey interrupts me there. "What?"

I peer up at his face, and his eyes are full of fury. "She-"

"I heard you."

I put my hand on top of his, and his expression softens. "It's okay, Grey."

He nods, looking down into the pool. I continue with my story. "Once I found that out, I told everyone about you. I exploded, it seems. I guess that was my breaking point. You, the gun, Nixon, this war...everything together was so painful."

Grey swallows, sighing softly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For causing you pain."

"Well, then I'm sorry too. I caused you just as much pain as you caused me."

Everything falls back to a silence again. The only sound we hear is that of the waterfall rushing to the bottom of the pool. We finish eating the berries Grey collected, and then I finally decide to do something I haven't done in awhile.

I look behind me and reach for my scythe. I bring it into my hands, but it feels a little heavier than I remember.

"Sutikka?"

There's a momentary silence. Grey gets up to collect more berries, but I think he's just trying to give me some more privacy.

"..."

I wait a little longer.

"Bena."

"Sutikka!" I squeal, bringing him closer to my body.

"..."

I freeze. "Are you still there?"

"...Yeah."