Choosing

t h i r t y f i v e

Sara suggested we go over to the ramen shop at the end of the street and then walk around the park. She asked if I was okay with that, I suppose it's better than staying home with my parents. My dads leaving in a few days, he's been begging me to go with. I keep saying no.

When the eight of us get to the ramen shop we sit at the seats that Sara and I usually sit at whenever we come here. Every weekend we'd come here, it's been on pause since training camp and our argument happened.

"Ah! Sato! L/N! I missed you!" Chef Ito exclaims when he sees us! "You want your usual?"

Sara and I exchange an awkward glance. "Actually," I shift awkwardly in my seat. "We'll get ours seperate."

We usually share a bowl because I can never finish mine by myself, but it's different now. We can't do that anymore.

"Seperate?" He narrows his eyes looking between us. "Why seperate? Are you guys in an argument?"

"We're just hungrier than usual." Sara shrugs.

"Chef Ito doesn't like you being in a fight." He grumbles and turns to the boys. "What will it be?"

The boys order quickly. Bokuto taking a bit longer than the rest because he just couldn't decide. I glance to Ushijima next to me.

"Sorry our date was crashed."

"We can try again another time." He says without looking up from the table.

"I'd like that." I smile and nudge him.

"You'd like what?" Oikawa asks from a couple seats down.

"Nothing." I roll my eyes. "Stop being nosey."

"I'll stop being nosey when you stop being secretive."

"It's not being secretive! It's just having a conversation."

He narrows his eyes. "A conversation, huh?"

"Shut up or you're gonna get us kicked out, you idiot!" Sara yells to Oikawa.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Oikawa yells back.

"Shut up!" Iwa smacks Oikawa in the head and Oikawa rubs it.

"Fine," He mutters.

I roll my eyes and look to Bokuto who is oddly silent on the other side of me.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"I'm wondering if I made a good choice." He says glaring at his menu. I laugh and shut it for him.

"You did. You'll love it. Trust me."

"Hey, y-you know I wouldn't have came if I knew you had plans with Ushiwaka."

I smile and lean closer to him. "I'm happy you came. I missed you."

"I missed you too. I even bought a new phone, but I realized I didn't have your number. I was going to ask Akaashi to ask Sara for it. But you guys were on weird terms when we left so..."

"So you came five hours?" I laugh. "That was your best idea?"

"I couldn't think of anything else. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you. But I also was worried because what if you didn't text me?"

I blush. "I texted you. A lot." I roll my eyes. "I was almost a stalker."

"A cute stalker."

I sigh. "If you say so."

"I do say so."

Our conversation is shortened when Chef Ito comes with our food. We eat quickly. Sara keeps the conversation going with the help of Tendou and Bokuto. Oikawa talks a couple times too. Ushijima, Akaashi, Iwa, and I do a lot less of the talking. We only talk when asked a direct question.

After eating we walk across the street to the park. Tendou and Bokuto lead the way with Sara. Ushijima, Iwa, and Akaashi coming up second. I turn around to see Oikawa dragging behind us. He doesn't really look like his usual teasing self. I slow down to let him catch up and then I push him.

"Who killed your cat?"

He shrugs but doesn't say anything else.

"What's wrong?" I question, but he just keeps walking. I twist my lips and think of what could possibly be wrong with him. "Is this about Ushijima? Are you jealous?"

He rolls his eyes. "I'm not jealous."

"You so are!"

"I could care less about what you and Ushijima do."

"You're so obsessed with me." I tease him, he doesn't respond though. "I'm just kidding. I know you aren't jealous."

He scoffs. "Stop pretending you know everything."

"What are you talking about?"

He rolls his eyes and throws a hang through his hair. He looks around quickly and pulls me behind a car.

I gasp. "What are you doi-"

He cuts me off by pushing me on the car and kissing me, roughly. Every inch of our bodies are touching. I can honestly say that I missed his lips. Very much. Oikawa could make me do just about anything with just one kiss.

"I am jealous." He says breathlessly. "I don't care if you know. I love you, Y/N. I always have. I know you have your thing with Bokuto or Ushijima or whatever. But I want you. I want every part of you. I'm tired of pretending I don't."

I stare at him. "What?"

"Are you seriously going to make me say it again?" He sighs, exasperated.

"No, I just..." I'm at a loss for words. My mind goes a million miles per hour. "I just don't believe you."

He takes a step back. "You don't believe me because you think nobody could ever like you, or because it's me who's claiming it?"

"Both," I admit.

"Who was there every single day after you came home for school?"

I smirk. "Oikawa, you just tried to bother me."

"Right," He nods sarcastically. "Because you could never think maybe I just wanted to make sure you were okay when your mom wasn't home. Or maybe I knew how you felt with Sara around and wanted to make sure you knew somebody saw how perfect you are despite your constant pity party. Did you ever think about that? No, you didn't, because while I was thinking about you, you were too busy writing me off in that pretty little head of yours."

His words ring through my head, I have so many things to ask and respond to. But only one thing comes out. "My constant pity party?"

"That's what you got from that? Are you kidding me?" He takes a few more steps back. "You know what? You're impossible. Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

He walks away and I try to call out his name, but I can't. I'm frozen. He can't just tell me all that out of nowhere and expect me to feel normal about it. I grab my head and follow him back to everyone.

"Iwa let's go," I hear Oikawa say when I get closer. "We're done here."

Iwa starts to argue, but one glance at Oikawa shuts him up. "Alright,"

Iwa passes Sara and I swear I can see their hands barely touch before he walks off with Oikawa. I don't think too much on it. I watch them walk away and turn to everyone else.

"What was his deal?" Bokuto asks no one in particular.

"He probably ate too much." Tendou replies to which both of the boys die laughing. Sara's the only one who looks at me. She's the only one who notices the tears welling up in my eyes.

I know she knows. She always does.