Choosing

t w e n t y t w o

Coach Tamura made me sit through the entire practice even though I said I wasn't feeling the best. He obviously hates me. I've been avoiding Sara as much as possible and I just know she's been doing the same. I keep telling myself I only have three days left... but even then I have to see her back home. I guess this would be a good time to visit my dad if we still talked.

After practice is over, I hand the bottles to all the girls — all but Sara. She doesn't mind though. She's too busy chatting up and hip bumping Michimiya from Karasuno. I'm already replaced... cool. I tell myself I could care less and turn around. I immediately see a volleyball flying to my face, I don't have time to react but luckily someone grabs it.

"Hey, you should watch where you walk. It's dangerous, atleast when I'm here." Bokuto jokes and I give him a small smile.

"Nice to see you too."

He notices my mood instantly, which is shocking for me. He throws the ball behind him and throws an arm around me. It's comforting to say the least.

"Are you sad?" He tilts his head and I just shrug.

"I'm fine,"

"You're not. What's going on?"

Part of me wants to talk to Bokuto, but the other part wants to keep our relationship lighthearted and fun. I like how he jokes around with me all the time, I like how we can joke with eachother. But the way he's looking at me now... like I'm a puppy on the side of the road that needs help... I hate it. I don't want to look weak.

The noise of Bokuto's teammates calling him takes me out of my thoughts. "I'm okay, go play."

He stares at me for a beat but I nudge him away and turn to leave. I can feel his eyes on me, but the second I get outside and take a left, I feel at peace. Alone again. As usual.

I don't know where I'm going. I just walk and walk. I only end up stopping when I see Oikawa running a lap with his teammates. He doesn't see me thankfully and I walk another way.

I thought this month was going to be my month, but it has been anything but. I feel like I've been pushed and pulled from one thing to another. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I swiftly take it out and glance at the screen. My mother. I sigh and answer it.

"Hey Mom, now isn't a good time. I'm bu-" I start but she cuts me off with her high pitched voice.

"I have a surprise for you!" She sings and I cringe away from the phone.

"I really can't talk right now." I can almost feel the tears still threatening to pour out.

"Are you okay?" She asks and I just about lose it. I roll my eyes up to stop myself from crying. I don't know why I'm so emotional about Sara.

Maybe I'm about to start my period.

Or maybe I'm just upset about losing the only constant in my life.

"I'm fine, Mom. I got to go." I quickly hang up before she can say anything else. She won't make a big deal about it. She never does.

I walk along the sidewalk until I figure out who I want to talk to. The one person who won't tell my secrets and won't treat me like I'm some broken doll.

My boyfriend.