Goodbye My Alpha (BxB)

Chapter 3: Time Can Change Us Unknowingly

Juno's POV

For as long as I can remember, I have never had any dreams. Growing up, I was somewhat jealous of other kids who seemed to know what they wanted to do when they were older. But, I, on the other hand never possessed such desires. The closest thing I had to a dream was meeting my mate, having a family and watching our children grow up, before then watching their children grow.

But being born from two Alpha parents and being an Alpha myself, I was constantly reminded that I needed to dream bigger, achieve greater things for that was what was expected from Alphas. And I simply needed to "stop thinking like an Omega"

My mother, Lillian was the Alpha next in line to inherit our pack, the Moon Bridge Pack, after my grandfather. However, back then there was a lot of opposition from the pack elders because of the fact she was a woman.

The elders stopped at nothing in order to keep my fiery and determined mother under their control and make her bend to their wills. They even went as far as to force her to marry the second son of an allied pack. My parents were not mates, instead they were two people forced to be together unwillingly. My father, Duncan, was the second son of the Night River Pack's Alpha, whose mate was killed in a rogue attack. The arranged marriage between my parents happened when my dad was still grief-stricken over the loss of his mate. However, despite this my mother did her best to support him through those hard times and overtime they slowly grew closer, but not as close as real mates. Even though the hole left in my father's heart from the loss of his mate could never truly heal, they both still came to a mutual agreement to live respectfully and faithfully to one another, despite not being in love.

For many years they didn't have any children, but five or so years into their relationship they had my sister Jupiter followed by my birth two years later.

My uncle the current Alpha Rudius was given the title instead of my mother. However, my uncle Rudius is not mated to anyone and is therefore heirless. The man is a hopeless and stubborn romantic, he believes that mates are sacred and thus if he cannot be with his mate then he'd rather be alone forever. As such he has been waiting faithfully for his mate for the last 45years.

And so, the title had to be passed to my older sister Jupiter. Though the elders were once again not too happy about the pack having a female Alpha as the pack leader, this time their outdated attitudes were met with scorn by pack members and they albeit reluctantly agreed for Jupiter to undergo the training to become Alpha when she turned 15.

However, Jupiter had other plans. She was going to be an architect and no one could tell her otherwise. After refusing to undergo Alpha training and even going as far as to threaten our parents that she would leave the pack and become a rogue if they didn't allow her to pursue her dream of being an architect. The adults were forced to listen. My parents and the elders came to an agreement that they would let her do as she wants under the condition that I agree to take over the position in her stead.

Unlike my sister Jupiter I never really had any big dreams or plans for my future. I was happy to live a quiet and uneventful life. That was just my nature. I cared a lot about our pack and my family but that didn't mean I wanted to become the Alpha. The thought had never even crossed my mind. I was never the picture of a typical Alpha wolf. Even though I possess the physical characteristics of an Alpha, being way above average in height, being well built and muscular. I have never considered myself to be aggressive and overly domineering. Most importantly, I am a realist, I know that being a leader is something not just anyone can do. It takes a lot of courage and self discipline to do it well.

But every time I saw my older sister doing her architecture stuff, she looked so unbelievably happy and fulfilled that I knew I couldn't take that away from her simply because I was too scared of the responsibilities of being a pack leader. Yes, I was scared. And I still am to this day. I am scared of not being as good as my uncle or my grandfather before him. I am scared of not being able to protect my family and the pack whom I love so dearly. I'm scared of fucking up, because when an Alpha fucks up that usually means a pack member could possibly end up getting hurt or even worse dying.

I am currently nearing the end of my Alpha training which I have been doing since I turned 13. Usually training starts at the age of 15, but as my sister refused the title when she was 15, I was immediately pushed into training. After years of hard work, next week, on my 18th birthday I will finally be inaugurated as the Alpha of my pack.

* * * *

Juno had changed drastically since agreeing to inherit the title from his uncle. Well, perhaps he hadn't changed but rather he was slowly broken down and moulded into a puppet that the elders could swiftly manipulate. He was far too young when they started tinkering with his brain, infusing it with their wills all the while leaving him no room to think for himself. They told him emotions are all but a weakness for an Alpha. Alphas had to be strong, always. Alphas weren't to fully trust anyone, not even their mates. "You have to cast away your emotions, Juno". The boy had lost count of how many times he had heard that line in the last few years. Eventually overtime, he had become so accustomed to his Alpha persona that it became like a second skin that he could no longer take off as he pleased.

Juno became colder, detached, feared and ruthless. Just like the elders had groomed him to be. And just like his uncle, the current Alpha, Rudius. Despite his uncle's romantic nature, when it came to Alpha duties he transformed into a different person. A person whose every action demanded obedience and respect. He was the kind of man to rule with fear and blood. And seeing how things were panning out, so would Juno once he got his turn. This was because he knew of no other alternative. This way of handling things is what had kept their pack safe and orderly thus far.

But as much as the boy tried to be who the elders wanted him to be, a mask is still a mask. And it only gets heavier the longer you wear it. The real Juno was an inherently gentle soul. He was the type of person to be happy simply from observing the happiness of others. But the moment he agreed to become the Alpha, without realising it he had already trodden far past the point of no return. Now, he had a pack to protect, even though they feared him. But he was not at liberty to doubt himself, nor to be weak, nor to be open about his truest feelings, not even to his closest best friend and soon to be Beta, Kaleo. Juno was that kind of person. The kind to bear the burden alone rather than let anyone he loved suffer. The boy would much rather have his pack fear him than have them injured or dead because he gave them the room to disobey him. He truly believed that this was the best and only way of keeping all of them alive and well.