Goodbye My Alpha (BxB)

Chapter 15: The Mundane and The Irrational

TULLY'S POV

Another week fleeted by since I moved to this quaint town, and started going to sixth form. My life has been mundane and uneventful. To most this may be dull, but to me this is the simplicity I have always longed for. The lack of fluctuations in my daily life made me feel contented, stable, and for that I was immensely grateful.

In our small group of four, Kal was undoubtedly the liveliest person. Now that he had left, Juno and Kii have evidently been downcast.

Kii had previously told me that the three of them had been together all their lives. They had never separated for more than a few days since they were infants. So it was only natural for both of them to be periodically depressed. They needed time to adjust.
They also seemed to have come to a tacit agreement not to bring up the real reason behind why Kal left. Judging from their reaction everytime I bought up the topic, I had long gotten an inkling that 'family emergency' may not be the full reason why he left. But I didn't feel that it was right to pry any further into the matter.

However, I was caught off guard by the sense of unease and wariness that enveloped me after Kal left.

At first I attributed these feelings to the fact that I was not yet completely accustomed to the new town, new school, new people. Afterall, it's normal to feel overwhelmed and restless when there are big changes in a person's life.

Kal was the first person to really make me feel at home and welcomed here. He was happy, funny and outgoing, I often found myself easily swept into his pace, experiencing many things that I hadn't before for the first time. So I guess it shouldn't be strange for me to feel a little empty after he left.

But what weighed on my mind was the degree to which I was affected. Was it really normal to grow attached to someone to such an extent after only knowing them for a mere week? No, it damn well wasn't! I am not a sentimental person by nature. Nor am I clingy or obsessive. So my simple brain is malfunctioning in wonder at where these strange irrational feelings are steming from.

"You're zoning out again." Juno's low husky voice filled with worry sounded close to my ear.

"W-when did you get here?" I stuttered from shock. I must have really zoned out, when did he manage to get so close?! I didn't even hear him approach! My heart was racing at the sight of Juno's face being so close to mine. With a slight tilt of my head our lips would collide. Juno's seemingly tranquil, bottomless blue eyes were magnified in their magnificence. Yet this calmness was but a facade. As I gazed deeper into them, I found those orbs to be poetically expressive. They sang of many more words than a mouth could ever utter, conveying a sense of assuredness as though all I needed to do was to stare into them unwaveringly and everything would be alright.

I was overwhelmed and breathless. My heart stirred ceaselessly, I wanted to escape from those eyes yet everything within me dictated that retreat was futile. So, I stared into them, and soon I was sure I would be completely lost in them, like a tiny pebble submerged by a great ocean wave. Shit...I must be really losing it. What am I even thinking? Calling all braincells, please assemble! I repeat, all braincells please assemble immediately!!

Juno was one of those rare people in the human society who had won the triple lottery. He had the looks, the brains and a great personality to top everything off. I was aware that I needed to stop being delusional. What pebble? What great ocean wave? What 'stare into my eyes and everything will be alright'? I scoffed internally at myself. What are the chances that he even thinks of me in that way? He's probably not even gay in the first place! Even if he was, what's to say he'd consider me? Wait, why do I feel like I just outed myself? Or was I just always Gay? Woa, I guess I didn't even know I was in the closet.