Disarm

Chapter 15: When a love moves On

**A/N: Did y'all miss me?**

**Billie**

Truthfully, I should have reacted better when Jade told me she was pregnant. Part of me always imagined us raising a child together, aside from Chase; a child that I'd help her with that would look at me with the same love and adoration Chase looks at her with. I used to think after I finished tour, I'd take a long break, spend time in Texas with her and Chase and we'd be a cute, little family. But, like Jade said I had obligations and maybe Finneas was right, maybe I wasn't ready to settle down yet.

"You okay, Eilish?" I hear Fin ask from his place at the piano.

"Not really." I say looking at a text from Dakota.

Dakota: You should come over.

"What's going on?"

"Jade's pregnant.... And when she told me I wasn't exactly nice about it."

"What do you mean?"

"All I told her was 'Oh, congratulations.' Then she just sighed mumbled something and told me she had to go and hung up."

"Are you happy for her?"

"I mean not really, but not because it's her but because..."

"Because you're not there with her?"

Damn it, Finneas. "I guess? Like I want to be there for her because I pictured Jade in my life...in one or another ya know? And now..."

"And now she's moved on?"

"That's what it feels like..."

"I've told you this before Eilish... You can't have her and Dakota. To her it probably feels like you've moved on, so you can't be upset at her reaction to your reaction to hearing that she's pregnant."

I sigh and sit back against the couch as my phone vibrates again.

Dakota: Come over.

"So, I should apologize?"

"I would, just so you don't seem like a dick."

My brother is right, I should apologize to Jade for being such a dick. She doesn't deserve that, especially from me.

"He said what?" I hear Claudia ask from her office.

"He literally thought it was Billie's baby..." I can hear Jade's voice from the cracked door.

"Why would he think that?"

"I guess he heard me talk about Billie and he assumed Billie was a dude and that I cheated on him with Billie...which..." I hear Jade sigh deeply, the way she does when she's been crying. "is ridiculous. And now Billie is less than enthused, which I don't blame her either."

"She'll come around, J. Billie loves babies... and she loves you."

"Maybe... I don't even know why I told her in the first place."

"Maybe because you still care about her and her opinion matters."

I chew on the inside of my cheek as I look down at the now 3 unanswered text messages from Dakota and open a new text to Jade.

Me: hey can we talk?

I can feel my hands shake slightly as I send the message knowing she'll read the message out loud to Claudia, I lean against the opposite wall still listening to their conversation waiting for Jade to read my text message... but it's now been 20 minutes and all they've talked about is morning sickness, tender breasts, the fact that Jade can no longer stand the smell of blueberry pancakes and potential names for her unborn child. Names like August and Asher if it's a boy and names like Vivian after her mom and Daphne after her sister if it's a girl.