Disarm

Chapter 4: Hands on my body

**Jade**

Does it make me a bad mom that I let my sitter come over even though I decided to work from home the rest of the week? I can hear Lilly keeping Chase entertained upstairs while I respond to emails from Hannah, Nick and John and nurse the red wine headache; that's what I get for drinking a 14.9% ABV Zinfandel. I pinch the bridge of my nose and shove my laptop aside as I rest my head on my arms trying to ward off the pounding in my head.

"Hi Mommy!" I hear Chase exclaim as his bare-feet pad against the hardwood floor and eventually feel him tug at the hem of my dress.

"Shhhh" Lilly reprimands him quietly. "Mommy is working."

"It's okay, Lilly." I say picking my head up as I pick Chase up and place him on my lap.

"We were just coming down to get some lunch." She says looking at Chase as he fiddles with the peridot ring on my index finger.

I watch Lilly get Chase's lunch together as he fumbles with the ring as he holds his shark in the other arm. "How about we bathe your shark?" I ask tugging on the plush toy a bit.

"No." He says pulling the toy away from me.

"Okay." I say brushing his curls off his face.

"I hope he has Jay's curly hair." Daphne says holding Chase in her arms as she rocks him to sleep.

"Maybe he will." I say setting down one of the many toys she's bought Chase.

"I hope so."

"Hey Lilly, I have an event Friday night, would you mind sitting late Friday for me? I'll pay you double." I ask Lilly as she slides a bowl of mac and cheese in front of Chase. "And if it gets too late, you're welcome to stay in the guest room. I hate asking but..."

"It's fine." She says smiling. "I don't mind at all. Plus he's a really good kid."

"Thanks." I say reaching for my phone as it vibrates against the bar.

Billie: hey are u busy?

What on earth does she want? And not that part of me isn't happy to hear from her, nor will I pretend I haven't dreamt about her the past couple of nights; but part of me also feels like it's inappropriate for her to contact me... given her current... situation.

Me: I'm a little busy right now, but I have some free time this evening.

Billie: ok, be there around 7.

That wasn't an invitation, but ok.

Billie: without Dakota.

Me: Alright.

I've been checking my phone off and on for the past hour, as the minutes tick closer to 7pm. I can feel my heartbeat pounding heavily in my throat; I can hear Chase playing quietly in the living room while trying to sing to "Paradise" by Coldplay as I cut the crust off his grilled cheese sandwich; I smile to myself as he occasionally yells out "Paradise!" during the chorus.

"Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do Yeah they were all yellow..." I can hear Daphne sing softly to Chase as she walks him up and down the hallway to calm him down.

I sigh to myself as I walk into the living room, watching Chase play and talk with the small, plastic aquatic animals in front of him on the floor. I make my way over to him and kneel behind him smoothing down his post-afternoon nap curls.

"Hi mommy" He says cheerfully, acknowledging me, but still playing with the toys.

"You hungry, baby shark?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go eat dinner." I say kissing his cheek, before standing up.

**Billie**

"Sorry, he had a lot 'why?' questions while brushing his teeth and before bed." Jade says as she walks downstairs holding her dress to keep from tripping.

"You're fine." I say taking a sip out of the bottle of water as she sits on the couch next to me.

"So... what brings you here?"

"I feel bad about what happened yesterday and wanted to apologize." And I wanted to see you... alone.

"Billie, I told you it was fine." Jade says shrugging a bit as she brings her legs up under her, her dress hanging over the couch. Jesus, she looks more gorgeous than she did yesterday, how is that possible?

"We both know it's not. Dakota was out of line to keep asking you about Chase and who or where his dad is..." I sigh "and I'm sorry I came over uninvited." God, I want to kiss her.

"It's not like I'm going to divulge that information to a total stranger." She says fidgeting with the end of her braid.

"I also wanted to see you... without Claudia or Dakota in the same room." I say looking at her.

"Billie." She sighs. "I don't-"

When I kissed Jade the first time, it was out of curiosity and mainly to shut her up; this time I couldn't not kiss her, not feel her lips against mine, not feel her body pressed against mine.

I feel her relax against the bed as I kiss up her neck slowly to her still swollen, rosy lips, while her warm hands still grip my back lightly. I grip her outer thigh slightly as her tongue slides into my mouth with fervor, before pulling away from the kiss.

"What is it?"

"You shouldn't be here..." She says just above a whisper, her lips centimeters away from my own.

"You said that New Year's Eve." I say tracing a light pattern on the center of her neck.

"Still rings true." She says a slight smile on her face.

"You gonna kick me out at..." I look over at the clock on her nightstand "3am?"

"No. I'll let you stay the night." She says pushing me off gently, before getting out of bed and walking over to her dresser; her naked, curvy body on full display for me to admire before sliding a pair of cotton shorts and t-shirt over her head. "Here" she says walking over to bed handing me a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt before sitting down on the bed.

"Thanks." I say pulling the pants on and tugging the t-shirt over my head.

I walk quietly into mine and Dakota's hotel room expecting to see her sitting on the bed waiting for me, but she's gone as is the additional keycard to the room. Her bags and clothes are still piled in a corner, so I know she's still here. I set my keycard on the table, and discard my clothes from yesterday into my pile of dirty laundry and flop down on the bed, as the image of me and Jade fucking is still imbedded in my head I sigh and throw my arm over my eyes. I still smell her on my skin and hair.

"Bil?" I hear Dakota walk into the room.

Shit. "Hey." I say sitting up quickly.