Just as the title states, a book of fluffy, cute, angsty, dark, happy and sweet oneshots featuring Master Splinter and the turtles! I've always wanted to see a book like this, so I'm making one!
Ps. The turtles will most likely be in littlespace or...
Summary: The turtles and Splinter attempt to explain the concept of how babies are made to Mikey! A part two of the "talk" chapter!
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"How's the whole baby thing work?"
Mikey asked his family this as his baby blue eyes lit up with curiosity. The other turtles and Splinter froze up a little bit, surprised.
"Uh...hang on a sec!" Raph said, pulling his brothers and father into the kitchen. "Okay, now what?" Leo said as they all thought a moment.
"We just need to be honest about this, my sons...give him all of her facts." Splinter said calmly. "I know all about it, I read a book once!" Donnie said.
"Good, we'll need your knowledge, brainiac!" Raph said as they all agreed before going back into the lair. Mikey looked up at them in curiosity.
They sat down. "Okay Mikey, so you remember how we discussed intercourse?" Donnie asked as Mikey nodded. "Yeah, I remember!"
"Well, when that happens, sometimes a baby is the result of it." Raph said. "How?" Mikey asked innocently as they all looked at each other, truth to think of the best way of explain it.
"Well, uh...woman have these things inside of their bodies called eggs-" Donnie got cut off. "April has eggs inside of her body?!" Mikey asked.
They burst out laughing. "Not those kinds of eggs, Michealangelo...these eggs are tiny and help the woman be able to conceive a child." Splinter said with a chuckle. "Oh, okay!" Mikey said, innocently grinning.
"And males have this thing called sperm in them, when the eggs and sperm combine during love making, the result is a baby." Leo explained.
Raph winced a little, uncomfortably. He was not enjoying this. He did not need to know about this again! It was awkward as shell! But hey, it was the circle of life! Mikey grinned a little.
"Then, for 9 months, the baby grows inside of its mother's uterus, in her stomach area!" Donnie added. Mikey's eyes widen. "In her stomach?! For 9 whole months?!" He yelped.
Splinter nodded, having known a little bit about pregnancy and childbirth since he used to have a wife. "Yes, my son." He smiled.
Mikey then said "How does the baby get out?" Their eyes widened, not planning on having to explain this part. Luckily, Splinter knew all about this from personal experience.
"I will take it from here." He said as the other turtles, except for Donnie who knew all about this, sighed in relief as Mikey looked up at them.
"When it has been nine months, the woman begins to have a cramping feeling in her stomach, this can continue for hours occasionally."
Mikey nodded. "Does it hurt?" He asked as they nodded. Splinter remembered Tang Shen literally squeezing the life out of his hand when she gave birth to Miwa.
"Yes, childbirth is very painful, but a special procedure called an epidural can help lessen the pain." Splinter said as Donnie nodded in agreement.
The other turtles winced at the thought. It certainly didn't sound fun. "The contractions cause the baby to be pushed out of the woman through her canal." Donnie said with a smile.
Mikey winced a little as the other turtles flinched, thinking about it. "Then, the woman usually delivers a placenta which is a small sack that was used to nourish the baby when they're in their mother's womb."
Donnie explained that part as Splinter nodded. "Oh, and sometimes a baby can be born early or late, but that is usually normal and does not cause any harm." He added with a smile.
Mikey nodded, grinning. "I think I understand now! Thanks daddy, thanks onni-sans!" The other turtles and Splinter smiled and hugged him.
"You're welcome, Michealangelo/Mikey!" They all replied, somewhat thankful that it was over. As awkward as it had been, they were glad Mikey understood the concept now.
"I'm glad I'm not a girl, childbirth sounds painful as shell!" Mikey said as Splinter chuckled a little. "Yes, it is...but it is worth it to bring a child into the world." He grinned a little.
Mikey smiled, hugging his family once more. Sure, this had been awkward, embarrassing and even a little traumatic, but it was life!
And the miracle of life is beautiful!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: Hey cheesecicles! I really hope you enjoy the funny chapter! Aww, Mikey's so innocent! I hope I made you laugh a little!
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