The other Swan

Fire in the dark

I slammed my fist into the wheel as I stopped at a red light.

Since when Did I let guys get to me like that?

SInce when did I pity myself?

Life was a gift, everyday I woke up breathing, was a gift.

So why?

Why am I damming it over a stupid amazing werewolf?

I slammed the excellerator.

I felt guilty for leaving after Charlie had gone out of his way to have dinner with us.

I was considering turning back around, surely Jake would have left by now, right?

Just as I was turning into a drive way to go back to Charlie, with some excuse for leaving, I saw him.

a russet wolf running through the forest after me.

I was half tempted to swerve in after it and hit Jake with my truck.

That would show him.

??

What the hell Lily show him what?

That your a crazy lunatic?

Thats what that would show him.

I sighed and kept driving home.

Hoping Jake wasn't following me.

Because right now, he was the last person on earth I wanted to see.

And at the same time, he was the first person I wanted to see.

I hate love.

I hate the feeling of, helplessness.

How it takes over your entire being and you are no longer yourself, but instead a blood thirsty animal.

Blood thirsty.

Edwards face came to mind and I chuckled.

EdwARD would know all about that.

**

I slammed the front door shut, and threw myself onto the sofa.

Hugging my knees, I stared at the wall.

Pictures played across it.

Jake lying shirtless beside me in the hospital.

Jake Laughing as he picked me up off the ground, after I did a Bella stunt.

Jake Whispering Hey beautiful.

To me, to me and not Bella.

Then the images changed.

Jake holding Bella, spinning her around.

Jakes eyes lighting up as he told me about how in love he was.

Stuff him was the only words circulating me mind.

When I heared the door unlock.

I closed my eyes.

Let it be Charlie, Please let it be Charlie.

Because right now, I was a mess.

I heared foot steps.

To careful to be Charlies.

Let it be Edward.

bu they were not fast enough.

Don't let it be Jake.

Jakes strong arms wrapped themselves around me.

"Lily, I'm sorry I've been so stupid." He whispered.