How I got Into The I-LAND [I-LAND X READER]

64.

"Here, take this.", Jake said while offering me a bottle of water and sitting down beside me on the couch in the living room.
"Thank youuu.", i smiled at him and took the water bottle.

"I'm kind of mad.", Jungwon then said out of nowhere when our unit sat together.
"Why would you be mad?", Daniel asked him in response and drank almost half of the bottle empty.
"You know...", he started to explain. "In the morning the other two units kept admiring each other and were talking about how good the other team is and totally ignored us. They don't see us as their rival. It feels like all of them are sure that we will be third place."
"I know, right?", Geonu agreed to his statement. "It's so frustrating and i kind of loose my confidence."

I could feel how all of them wanted to say something to lighten up the atmosphere but they couldn't because Jungwon told us the truth. They don't see us as their rival. In there eyes we already own the third place. Still all of us knew that they didn't have the intentions to let us think about it in that way. But i wanted to proof them wrong, all of us wanted to!

"There is nothing they can do that we can't.", Jake then broke the silence. "We have Jungwon as an amazing dancer, Geonu and his wonderful vocals and Daniel and Y/N as the best rapper."
When he ended his sentence Geonu and I punched against his shoulder at the same time.
"And what about yourself?", i laughed.
"Well, i'm the ace of this team.", he shrugged his shoulders and smiled, which made all of us burst into laughter.

"We should head back to practice.", Jungwon suggested after having our little break. "Director Sungdeuk will be here anytime soon."

-TIME SKIP-

"You're off beat Y/N!", the director yelled at me while i was performing. I tried my best, but him watching at me and yelling at me made me feel more nervous which caused me to do even more mistakes.
"Do you even listen to the music?", he scolded me once again while i was dancing and i was trying hard but it didn't work out.
"Turn the music off.", he then said. "This is a waste of my time."

Daniel turned the music off and the five of us stood in a line in front of director Sungdeuk. There was a big silence and the only thing that was audible were his footsteps, because he was walking back and forth in the practice room until he finally stopped in front of us and started talking. We didn't face him though, we have been looking down to the floor full of shame.

"Is this really what you prepared for today to show me?", he asked us in disbelieve. "I hope you didn't think this was good while you were practicing. Jungwon, you did the best here in the group. Keep up with your work. Jake and Daniel, you should work on your stage presences and focus on your dance a bit more. Geonu, your singing is off beat, it ruins the whole performance. You shouldn't make mistakes like that."

I was anxious. Since he gave feedback to the others already, i'm about to get mine next. I closed my eyes and still had a little bit of hope that he won't be that harsh, although i knew it would be impossible.

"And Y/N,", he sighed. "Where are you with your thoughts? It seems like you have seen the choreography for the first time and that you don't even know the song. You should definitely get better because you can't keep up with the boys. Do you even want to become an idol? Anyways, i'll go now, you should practice."
"Thank you for your feedback.", all of us bowed when he left the practice room.

"Aish, that was pretty harsh feedback.", Jake sighed.
"Indeed.", Geonu agreed. "I really felt intimidated."
"But we shouldn't feel frustrated because of that!", Jungwon tried to motivate us. "He told us that, so that we practice even more! Let's surprise them with a performance they don't imagine from us."
"Let's practice every free second we have!", Daniel supported his statement.

Without looking up, I went to the door to exit the practice room. I didn't want them to see me right now. I felt weak.
"Oh, Y/N.", Geonu called me when i put my hand on the door handle. "Where are you going?"
"I'll just use the restroom real quick.", i lied and ran away, but not to the restroom though, i ran to my room and sat down on my bed because i had to think about what director Sungdeuk just told me.

He told me i'm the weakest out of all applicants here. I'm untalented, i can't even perform properly. He said it seemed like i've never heard of that song although i practiced so hard.
I could feel how tears fell down on my lap. I don't deserve to be here, someone else should be here instead of me. I don't deserve to be the 13 applicant. I couldn't help but cry and let out all the feelings i hid in myself the whole time.
It's not easy for me to be the only girl. It's not easy for me to be a trainee among them. Just as director Sungdeuk said, I asked myself the question 'Do I even want to become an Idol?' while I was all emotional.
I can't keep up with all of that. My mind can't and my body also can't. I even fainted because of all the stress i have.
It would be so easy to just give up. I could live my normal life again. I could be with my family again. I could go to school again. I could spend time with my friends again...

Without me even noticing someone entered the room and pulled me into a hug while i was crying.

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Guys, i'm so sorry that i uploaded so late! Please forgive me but i had to face some struggles in the last days! While I've been writing that part, it got deleted and i had to rewrite it! I hope you still enjoyed it!

Also thank you for your support! My first part got 4k reads! :') And also hello to every new reader i got, i love to read your comments! <33

Anyways, i hope y'all are doing fine! Please stay safe and healthy! Ily~

~Sonny