To New Beginnings.

Hurtful truth

Hazel's P.O.V
Friday past like no other.
Same vibes, but with a warm nostalgic touch to it. To me, it was still weird, unacceptable in a way. There were split seconds where I'd doubt it, but seeing that they're okay with it relaxed me partly.
I know, I'm strange and bipolar.
One minute I am commenting on how relaxed I feel, the next I complain about how unrealistic it is to me.
Trust me, this is what anxiety does to you. It takes over your mental senses with your brain making you listen to all these voices in the background not knowing what to do but give up.
To me, giving up isn't so easy, yet it doesn't mean that it's hard, but I still have my doubts.

Waking up in the morning to a toddler wrapped around you in bed will freak you out at first, but then you'll be struck in awe at how adorable it is.
No adults in the household really is starting to turn the tables upside down, sleeping past midnight, living on junk food, no studying and my absolute favourite waking up late.

It was already past noon, and here I am still in bed with a mixture of thoughts wasting my time instead of stepping in the bathroom to freshen up. Reminding myself I headed to the bathroom to freshen up to start my day.

Luckily Adam hasn't been that upset about Anna not being around. I noticed that whenever he missed her he'd ask for Tyler instead.

" Hazoow " Adam giggles as I walked in with his chubby hands clutching onto my neck, piggybacking him into the diner room as he blurted while the others' eyes were lingering on us.

" If you piggwey back wide me, Am I a piggwey?? " Adam asked confused assuming that he's a pig now rather than a mokney lol.

A ghost of a smile crawled my face as he questioned me with his gullible questions as the rest held their laughs.

" You're a cute piggy that's for sure. " I chuckled kissing him and setting him down to fix him something to eat since Maria was busy cooking in the kitchen.

" Morning " I greeted setting him down in his seat beside Amelia and Tyler.

" Mowning Hazow " Adam replied which caught us all in laughter as he stared at us weirdly which led us into another set of laughter.
He was definitely too cute and gullible for this world.

They each replied with a greeting afterwards.
As soon as they were done talking Alec turned to me asking if I wanted to join in on them for the day.

I was trying to figure a proper way of declining without sounding like I was anxious to go or that I didn't want to intrude more than I already am.

" Uhh, - ", but simply got cut off by Amelia speaking on my behalf.

" You don't have to go, though "
Stating it firmly with a smile etched on her face which I'm sure is a fake one.

" I wasn't going to, you don't have to worry " I smiled back firmly before I stood to get Adams breakfast when Alec held on to my hand.

Simply knowing Alec assumed I got pissed off which led me to head out of the kitchen, but I couldn't have been more proud of myself that I wasn't indeed leaving but going to grab Adams's breakfast.
" Oh, I'm not leaving, I'm just heading to grab Adams breakfast. " I stated gleaming at them.

My anxiousness began to creep inside of me running through my veins causing me to fidget with my hands beneath my oversized sweater.

Exactly how it is, I am the same.
On the outside I tend to show how strong, bold and confident I am of myself, but deep beneath my skin is my anxiety and the real me hiding afraid to be revealed.

The sound of my footsteps echoing on the kitchen's tiled floor was evident to my hearing sensesbut was weakly heard as a background of their conversation as they negotiated.
Besides they were too heated up in the conversation to realize that I was standing listening to every word that slipped out of their mouths.