Scar

Without words

Snow falls outside the window as I wait. The morning is soft and slow but it's still early when I step into his car. I don't know what it's for; all he told me was that I needed to be there and that he would pick me up at eight. 

We don't talk. We never do. Not unless necessary. 

I hug my backpack against my chest and wonder how long I will have to be away from home this time. I know dad worries even though he never says aything. The way he can't find the words and the dark circkles under his eyes tells me that he's been awake, wringing this situation until he doesn't know anything anymore. 

I know because I'm the same. But there is no fixing this. What the moon has done can never be undone. 

I've packed clothes for a night away just in case. As I look over at Scar I almost tremble. He's just as scary now as he was back then. The dark hair and the bright eyes are only outshined by the grim aura he's emitting. It's ridiculous how mighty he seemes, and even more so now that I'm sitting beside him. He is as close as he is unreachable. 

What cruel twist of moonlit fate mated me to a shadow? 

As usual he's driving towards the Alpha's mansion. It's not the pack's main house but the home of the alpha family. I thank my blessing stars that he is not one of the alpha children. But I curse the moon over the amount of cars that stand parked in front of the big house.

It's a family gathering. Hell.

"It's just a meeting" he mutters while turning the engine off.

"Can I go wait in the room?" I ask hurriedly with a mouse's voice. He grabs me with a grip that could break bones. Ice surges through me and the fear makes me stiff. 

"NO. You will follow me until I tell you to go" he growls as if I'm so disobedient he can't stand me. He lets me go and I nod frantically but he doesn't care to look. I get it. He has to drag me here with him every time. It's tiresome for him. I'm nothing but a burden.

As we enter there are discussions going on everywhere. I flinch at the sound of a big creach. The house is full of the alpha and his extended family. Even the children are running around creating a feeling of holiday almost. Thankfully no one is dressed up. It's really just another meeting.

"Scar!" a loud voice calls. All eyes turn to us. Their stares glisten with disgusted interest and I know what they think of us. That we're freaks.

"Simon" my mate grimly greets the alpha. He's young. Younger than Scar, almost my age. The alpha gives Scar a manly hug but his uncle just shruggs him off.

"That's alpha to you" Simon reminds him jokingly but I really wish Scar would obey and call him that. Everyone must respect the alpha. Even his uncle. It's nice that Scar already has a grown nefew. But the story behind why young Simon is alpha is very sad.

My mind drifts off to the old alpha and for a second I can see Matthew in Simon's face. He has his father's brown eyes and the same chesnut red hair with sunkissed skin and a smile that makes everyone feel calm.

Scar looks nothing like his brother. His hair is dark, almost black and his eyes are as cold as the moon, his pale skin make him look like he's never seen the sun and the big scar over his left eye reminds everyone of the horrible loss.

Of course Simon doesn't rule this pack alone. In her usual arm chair sits his grandmother, Scar's mom. I shrink before her, as anyone would before a mighty luna.

"My boy" she cheers pleasedlike at Scar as we come before her. "And his beautiful little mate" she adds with a quick glance at me.

"Mom" Scar greets her and takes her hand to sqeeze it. She does not get up because she cannot. Her hindlegs were damaged in the same gruesome fight that took the life of her eldest son.

"The meeting will not start for another hour, let your mate slip away. It's nothing but the old boring stuff" she explains with a hushed voice and a short smile driected at me. I try to make a face of gratitude but just like Scar she never seemes to notice my reactions.

"So you didn't need me for anything important?" he growls irritatedly.

"Yes, you and your mate will be needed tomorrow. The alpha and I have something important to discuss with you" she declares in a tone that could never be argued. He looks like he wants to try.

"Fine, we'll stay" he grunts. He ignores everyone and they stay clear of him as though he would bring death upon them. I follow him, a lump in my stomach and tremling hands, up the stairs past Matthew's widow Sarah and her brother. They cast long glances on Scar but fail to look him in the eyes. His angry eyes stay steady as he looks past everyone of his family members. I feel my breath quicken. He doesn't like them. He doesn't like being here. It makes him angry and when he's angy... 

I clutch the strap of my bag and stare at the carpet. Along the corridor there is a library and then four guest bedrooms. The room in the corner is where we always stay. Cassian stalks up to the door and throws it open. I feel the shakiness of my breath and try to stay calm. His whole family is downstairs; he can't do anything loud.

I don't think Cassian ever lived here. He seems too uncomfortable when he's here, shoulders tight, neck quick to flinch and on edge, not the way you act in your childhood home. Did they send him away because he was a dark one?

I cast a careful look at his back and feel a shiver risp down my spine. His arms are tense with irritation and the way he walks reminds me of the neighbour's evil cat. Unwillingly I follow him in and drop my bag on a chair. I try calm my breath before he can hear it cathing in my throat but he doesn't say anything.

"W-will you attend the meeting?" I stammer, squeezing my eyes shut at the uneasiness in my voice.

"What's it to you?" he mutters harshly, already on edge.

"Noth-nothing. I'm sorry. I-I just thought that-" I mumble and wrap my hands around each other to make them stop trembling. He comes closer with slow, dooming steps until his shadow darkens the floor underneath me swallowing me up into darkness.

He grabs me by my chin and holds it with a terrible strength. After staring at me like I am the worst scum on earth he releases me. I sink to the floor and his shadow slips over me, covering me in unescapeble darkness.

"Then don't ask me. I don't want to hear your voice" he growls quietly and leaves before I can nod or assure him that I won't ever bother him again. Shame runs through me like a giant waterfall and something in my chest aches coldly, but I can't do anything but lie there like a a piece of trash he has discarded.

This is my mate.

This is my life.

All I want is to go home to my dad again.