Scar

Carrots

Outside Scar's house the car comes to a  sceeching halt. My outburst earlier still fills the car with tension. I wait with shallow breaths that catch in my throat. The jet black hair falls like a waterfall over his face but not before I grasp a sight of the sad way his brow is forrowed. 

"I wish..." he starts and I swear my heart drums like it's in a metal band. The usuall ragged and irritated voice is now lumpy with words that are hard to say. The suspense is a harrowing walk along the edge of a sharp claw. I waddle and feel the hope in my chest topple me towards the left and then the fear weigh me to the right. "Nevermind" he mumbles finally and gets out. 

I tumble out of the car and pull at his arm before he can open the door. Snow crunches beneth my boots but all else lies silent. 

"Scar?" I plead. He freezes as something comes over him again making his arms shake and face freeze in pained features. "What were you-" 

"Don't touch me!" he explodes at me with a despair I've never seen on him before. His hand pushes me away with such force that I fall to the snow. My hands hurt from catching me. He towers over me with a painful expression on his face, as if I am the one who is hurting him. I am frozen still as he leans down over me. The anguish on his face is horrible. 

"Don't touch me again" he begs me with an urgency that seems to surprise him too. 

"But we-" I try. 

"NO!" he roars and I shoot backwards away from him, holding my arm protectively over me. 

My mate doesn't even look back. His black dressed back disappears into the house while I lie in the cold, trembling an unable to move. It's just a bad dream. No one can do this to their mate. No one could hate their mate. The mate bond is the ultimate love. Slowly I unfold myself. 

My neck hurts when I swallow and I feel shame weigh me down like a tight shirt of steel. No one can know about this. I would die if anyone knew he did that to me. What would they think? I shake my head and look around for potential witnesses. Of course there is none here deep in the forest. 

With a body that is stiff with horrible thoughts I puppeteer myself up. I wrestle off my clothes and stuff them in my backpack before I grab it in my mouth and set off through the woods. 

Dad is home today and I scrape at the back door. When he opens I rush into his arms. He just holds me until I can breathe normally again. When I am dressed again in a thick sweater I finally feel calmer. 

"Would you like some stew?" dad asks and looks at me hoping to gain answer to all the other questions he has by observing me carefully. I nod with a sad smile. 

"Yes, please. Did you put carrots in?" At this question he gives me a ragged and heartbroken smile that makes my eyes water again. 

"Of course." 

Neither of us can form words after that. We eat in silence until he asks me if I want more salt and I say no, just like always. But it's not just like always. 

"Where will you live after the ceremony?" he asks, masking his worry as a simple question. I almost shatter but I know I have to be strong for him, like he is for me. 

"Somewhere close. I'll make sure of it" I promise both him and myself. 

"Good, good" he nods and I know that he can tell exactly how I feel. I never could hide anything from him. 

"Maybe we should start packing after dinner" I suggest even though I don't want to leave my loving dad for evil Scar. 

"We'll do it first thing tomorrow. You should rest tonight" he comforts me and puts a warm hand on my back. I lean into the creak of his shoulder and then we just stay like that for a while. 

When we sit down to watch TV I know it's the last time in a long while we will sit here, him and me. I know it's the last time he will be putting on The Lion King because he knows that I'm sad. 

We sit in the ends of the sofa but as the move progresses I stretch myself nudging my feet under his leg. He puts his hand on my ankle and I'm not sure what I will miss most, his carrot stew or the simple way his hand on my ankle makes me feel good again.