Scar

Justice

Scar's POV 

I sit and look out over the edge. My fur soaked with sweat and my mind riddled with unanswered questions. I know that I cannot fix any of it. I know that there is no way to seal the dark away, no way doesn't esure my death. I know that I have hurt Elmer when I should have told him the truth. I know that I can never forgive myself for killing my brother or injuring my mother. I know that there is no way I can make anyone happy. 

Me being here doesn't make anyone's life brighter. This way I can spare them of the rest of the pain I was bound to inflict upon them anyway. 

If only I could have had the strength to tell Elmer earlier. But the look on his face when I told was everything I feared. He can't love someone like me. I killed my brother and nearly my little nefew. He hated me when he found out. 

I had had some tiny hope that it wouldn't matter. That our bond would make him see past the dark and that maybe we would find some kind of solution so that I wouldn't have to keep everyone away, afraid that I might hurt them if they come to close. 

It was foolish of me to hope. Just like it was selfish of me to bite that perfect soul back then. I had no right to poison his life with my curse. I should have been stronger so that I could have resisted. 

But what is a wolf compared to the Moon? 

Why was I born like this? What do I have to protect us from? Bring it then! I will maul it to death and show You the true extent of my darkness! 

No enemy appears in sight. The evening starts to grow darker. How befitting. 

It smells of dirt, cold, hard dirt under a sheer layer of snow. I scrape my paw at it, making dark holes in the crispy white sheet. 

My eyes drop down over the edge again as I turn. But there is no way to make sure I don't survive the fall. This is more difficult that I had thought. 

After a while I start to wander along the edge. There has been snow for a long time but I still find grass and flower hidden under the frosty cover. My eyes stick to a budle of small pink-white flowers. I remember yelling at Simon for picking them. They are dangerous. 

I look at the white snake root in my hand. The pretty little flowers doesn't warn of any danger but I know how poisonous this plant is. Not strong enough to kill me if the dark starts to fight it, but maybe if eat it then my body won't survive the fall. 

I trot back to the cliff and hunch down. My human body shivers and almost want to change back but it's better if I am cold. It's better if suffer. I pull my pants on and sit down again. 

I am so sorry, Elmer. I was wrong to think it was better to keep you I out of it. I should have told you, even if it had still turned out like this you derverved to know the truth. 

I yank a piece of the flowers off the stem and roll them in my hand. Last chance to stop. Last chance to figure out a way to live without risking the lives of those close to you. No? Didn't tkink so. 

I toss the flowers into my mouth and then some more, and some more until there is no flowers left on the stalk. They taste very bitter and are hard to swallow. I feel little leaves sticking to the inside of my mouth. 

Sitting down I wait for them to kick in. I wish I had gotten to experience at least one moment of happiness with Elmer, one where we were both happy and no one was afraid. But then again I also wish I could have kept Elmer out of this. He didn't deserve this, any of it.