Scar

The storm

The alpha has placed me at the enterance to the living room where I am supposed to greet and help everyone who enters. Thankfully most of them only aks for the way to the bathroom or where they can put their luggage but an old woman thanks me heartily for helping her down onto an armchair.

"Thank you so much, young man. You are such a gentleman. Who might you be? A little brother to the alpha?" she asks. I smile awkwardly. 

"N-no, I'm the mate of his uncle" I answer her quietly but everyone in the room stops to listen. Their observant eyes carefully monitor me waiting for information. "I understand it is diffucult for you to think of a dark wolf like that... b-but he's very gentle... and sweet" I try to convince them but the words taste salty and stingy. 

The old woman looks at me as if she both pities me and scorns me at the same time. I hear them murmur about Scar and about how I look, and what I said, and it all feels like too much at the same time. I feel like imploding under all this pressure. 

Just as I'm about to combust the alpha grabs my shoulder and drags me up to the library to talk. He has got an unsettled look on his young face and I wonder how he can do this despite his age. I would have failed miserably in his place.  

"I know that you and Scar aren't too affectionate in public..." he starts giving me a pair of pleading eyes. A gross understatement at best. 

"No" I agree, hoping that that will end this discussion. He sighs as if he really doesn't want to ask me this. 

"Look, Scar is coming here. I told him to come, and when he does I want the survivors to see his good side, to see that he is able to be gentle and affectionate" he explains. 

"But that's the thing, I think he's-" I start but a loud crash downstairs makes alpha's attention fly to the library door instead. His eyes gain a stressed fog as if he isn't really present. 

"I need you to meet him in front of everyone. Just one kiss and then you can both go" he tells me and then hurries out. The whole world slows down to spin confusedly with me. 

There is no fricking way that Scar agreed to this. I know that. So that means I am the one who has to do this. Kiss him in front of a room full of people. 

Perhaps that would be fine if we had kissed a hundred times before. But I don't even know what his lips feel like. 

I solemnly descend the stairs. Alpha and a few other wolves hoist the table in the middle of the room back up so I guess the loud bang was from it falling over. Simon gives me a sure look but it doesn't give me any courage. I don't think anything can.  

I hear the sound of his car over the ruckus. I've heard it so many times over the last few years that I couldn't possible miss it now. He's here.  

There is a calm chaos going on in the big room. Everyone is talking and searching and resting and whining and asking and worrying. There is a lot going on but I feel like this is the calm before the storm. 

And in the storm comes. His steps are as sure as his eyes. They scan the crowds like two daggers searching for the target. Everyone goes quiet. Their motions stop and all that I can hear is an unsure whisper from a young cub asking who the man dressed in black is. 

I wish I could have told that cub that it was a monster, that it was a horrible abomination, hated by the moon and banished forever to the dark. Perhaps that would have protected me from his curse. Perhaps the wolves would have rallied against him and protected me. 

Instead I hear the cub's mother tell him that he's the dark one, but a nice dark one. I almost laugh. 

His daggers find me. The grey steel pierces me and all the pain from the night before washes over me. I feel the alpha's power in the air. I feel the stares of stangers and old packmembers. I feel the storm hit like I knew it would. Like it always will. 

Suddenly I have crossed the room and cupped his cheek lovingly with my hand. I stare shyly into his confused, blade sharp eyes before I close mine and give him my very first kiss. It's nothing but a soft peck on the lips but to me it's everything I fear, or want. I'm not sure. 

What I know is that I have to take his hand and lean against him as if I trust him to hold me when I'm sad. As if he showers me with kisses when we're alone. As if he has never hurt me or treated me like trash. As if I could love this terrible beast. As if he loved me. 

My insides are as cold as ice but I finally feel calm. Scar has enough intelligence to complete the scene by leading me out of the room, holding my hand and smiling softly. For a second he almost looks mellow, but I know the real him. 

He even holds the car door open for me for the last onlookers to get a good impression. When he sits down it I can't even look at him. 

"Take me home" I mumble. He's quiet as if he wants to say something. "Drive" I urge him. 

"Did Simon tell you to do that? Is he going to make us play happy mates for the rest of our lives!?" Cassian growls angrily, close to boiling over. "You are useless, agreeing to everything like a fucking pet. Have you no shame?!" he roars and grabs my arm with a painful clutch that I fear might leave a bruise. 

"No." I stare at him with all the hatred he has ever given me. "I was never worth anything to you, or these wolves. All I have is what I am to the people who loves me and that's a short list. Being mated with you has made sure of that." At this his grey eyes gain a dark shadow but I don't care if that makes him angry. "My dad is the only one I want to make proud, but you have destroyed that chance too. I am mated to wolf who doesn't love me..." I hiss with lava inside but a cold face. "What could be a greater shame than that?"

He looks like he wants to eat me alive. The air is filled with horrible things he could yell at me but he simply starts the car and lets me hate him in silence. Being ingored is almost worse. I feel all the pain that I just let out crawl back inside, but some lingers on my skin, burning like an itch. 

He does not care about my pain. I know this. I have known this for a long time, but the reminder still hurts.