Scar

Confession

Elmer's POV

"Elmer!"

I see foggily through my teary eyes as he dives down to pick me up. Warm hands pat me down and his worried eyes glisten with tears. The world spinns and then I am tucked against his chest, rolled up in something warm. 

"Elmer" he breathes with relief and hugs me tighter. Tears have turned into ice down his cheeks which are turning spotty from the cold. 

He smells so good but I'm not sure if I'm already gone. Perhaps this is just the afterlife where all the dreams I never dared to dream has come to life. Because I know he doesn't love me. That I know for sure. 

In my groggy state I curl up against his chest as he carries me somewhere. I don't care where. This is nice. This smells good. I lie there and almost fall asleep in his warm arms. It feels so nice to be held like his lover. It must have been a good thing to die if I finally get to feel at peace. 

I drift off and welcome the darkness beacuse I have now gotten to taste the love of my mate and can peacfully go. 

But I am awakened by rough hand. 

"Elmer! Oh, thank the moon" he growls and puts his hand against my cheek. 

I'm in a bright room that smells of him and burning wood. It's somewhat warm but as I turn my head towards the light I open my eyes to a big window showing the falling snow outside. It's quiet except for the crackling of the fire and his rapid, worried heartbeats. Worried? 

My eyes fall onto his face, onto the dark circkles, onto the old scar that still runs down one side of his face and lastly onto his eyes. Oh my, those eyes. The grey moons are glistening with tepid tears and his lips tremble at the sight of me. Why was he afraid to lose me? He never wanted me, right? 

But the way his heart mirrors mine in pathetic little needy beats tells me differently. 

"Are you ok? Where does it hurt?" he asks me as if  he's some loving mate. I just stare at him in astonishment as he nervously picks at his own fingers. This isn't happening. I must be dead. 

When he realizes I'm not going to answer he sighs frustratedly and starts sqeezing me down rougly as if feeling for broken bones. I push him off and wince at the sting from my cut opening and my frozen fingers bending. 

"So you're not dying at least" he states with a somewhat bitter tone but I can feel his puls slow down. 

My body is filled with a stormy ocean of angry waves and hopeful stillness. I'm so tworn up that I want yell at him, kiss him and ignore him for the rest of my life. But I cannot take my eyes off of him. The worried frown and the nervousness he emits is like a drug for my soul. All of my troubles seem to ease just by him appearing worried. But this is not fair. It's not fair of my heart to trick me like this. What is he really doing? 

I let myself look at him without fear for once. I remember being growled at for staring at him or for saying something dumb. I know what the back of his hand feels like, the same hand he caressed my face with just now. Pain stings my heart. I must not hope. It is far too painful. 

"Why did you bring me back?" The question hits him like slap across the face. Shame, pain and fear strike his face. Just like it did mine all those times. My face is frozen in a stiff, grim mask I cannot remove. 

"You howled..." he mumbles and lets his gaze fall to the floor. I stare at him still, unwavering for once. 

"You howled first. Why did you go looking for me?" I press him. He has to say... something.