Rhythm to My Chaos

Chapter 30

#NewClassicRTMC

Chapter 30
Courtships

Ike loves me.

He fell in love with me. He came to Roxas for me. He was willing to spend a fortune just to stay here and court me.

I didn't know how I made it through the night without losing my mind. It felt like I was being pranked. I even considered the thought that I was just inside a fairytale-like dream, and I would eventually wake up to the reality where we could never be.

Ike's confession brought me to the brink of my sanity. I struggled to think properly. My chest felt tight because of too much happiness.

I could still remember exactly how he looked at me when he confessed his feelings. Even when the place was slightly dimmed, I saw him clearly.

His face was close to mine. His eyes were full of passion. He didn't just confess to me using words. He showed his sincerity through his gaze. There was no hint of hesitation. The words fell from his lips with so much emotion which embraced me with warmth.

I suddenly wondered about the current status of our relationship. I'm in love with him, and he feels the same way. Does that mean we're in an unspoken romantic relationship?

Pero hindi puwede 'yon! Hindi niya pa ako nililigawan nang maayos. Hindi niya pa rin tinatanong sa akin ang mahalagang tanong. Sinubukan ko ring itanggi sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko.

It's very complicated. But why am I even thinking about being in a relationship with him already?

Biting my lower lip, I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I stopped combing my hair and brought the hairbrush down.

Umagang-umaga ay namumula ang aking pisngi. Kahit na medyo morena ay hindi naitago nito ang bahagyang pagkapula. Hindi ko maiwasang mangiti, ngunit agad din akong nakaramdam ng hiya.

Is this how I looked when he confessed?

Sana ay hindi! Mukhang kilig na kilig ako! Halatang hulog na hulog ako sa kanya.

Napabuntonghininga ako. Pakiramdam ko ay para akong tanga habang kinakausap ang sarili sa aking isipan.

At that moment, without a warning, fears and doubts trespassed inside my head. It rained on my fantasies of being in a relationship with the man I love. I started to feel scared. I was reluctant to take risk again.

I knew Ike was telling the truth when he confessed. I felt his raw and overwhelming emotions. But the question is: How long will he stay in love with me?

The pain I experienced when I got jealous of him and Ida was already too much for me to take. Paano kung magbago ang kanyang nararamdaman isang araw? What if he's just infatuated with me? I don't think the pain would be friendly with me when that time comes. Just imagining it already made me feel like I was suffocating.

Bago pa lumala ang aking pag-iisip ay nagdesisyon akong pigilan na ang sarili. Matapos kong mag-ayos ay lumabas na ako ng aking kuwarto.

As soon as I came out, I was greeted with laughter coming from the living room. Papaalis na si Auntie Divina ngunit mukhang hindi matuloy-tuloy dahil nandito si Ike. She was keeping him entertained.

A smile tugged my lips while I was trying to suppress it. I hated how I couldn't control my feelings the moment I saw him. I tried my best to school my expression and acted like I wasn't affected by his presence.

I kind of expected that he would come to my house. It was somehow the same to what happened before. It was like we were dancing on the same rhythm but a different song.