Ineffable. [D. Malfoy]

eight.

That was the last time she saw Mr.Malfoy, for a whole month. 

 It was a very long month. As fall approached, everything became colder. Scorpius left for several business trips. Sometimes he would be gone for over a week. Mara came by to play chess with her, but she never stayed long. Even Nolly was barely seen. The meals that came into her room were barely touched. She ate in small bits, only when her stomach was able to down the food, and that was rare. She hated the way each time she closed her eyes, he was there.

Not Scorpius.

Mr.Malfoy.

His grey hues would take over her mind. The way he looked at her with such intensity. Each time she saw Scorpius, his father would consume her mind. It was wrong, but she couldn't help it. She missed his presence. She missed seeing him every day in his brooding manner and expensive suits. She missed the way he spoke to her- as a human rather than a piece of glass. Everyone else treated her like she was broken. But he didn't.

Esme thought she was broken. Scorpius spent less time with her, always leaving for work, and when he returned, it was a quick kiss and falling asleep in her arms. He never asked about her day, or what she did, or how she was feeling. No. He only spoke about himself, his job, and obtaining a higher position at the Ministry. She didn't care. She wanted to talk to him about something else, anything but work. But it never happened.

At times she would open her mouth, ready to ask where his father has gone off to. But closed it instantly, remembering it wasn't her place to ask. She couldn't ask questions like that. She didn't deserve to have her voice heard. Maybe that was it. They were growing tired of her, having her locked up in her room like a prisoner. She was starting to feel like she had never left the cell. It was all too similar. The room was different, of course, but not the feeling. The growing coldness, the absence of heat, and warmth. The paleness of the colours on the walls. Nothing had meaning. She was growing cold and back into her old habits. She wished someone would care for her, but the one person who did just that left. He left without even telling her.

She didn't matter to him.

And she was stupid to think that she did.

 She would sit on her bed staring at the door, memories of their last encounter flooded into her mind. The way his expression remained guarded, he was hesitant to even talk to her, trying to leave as fast as possible. She was overthinking the entire interaction. Each day she would replay it, waiting for him to walk through the door and ask her if she was okay. Or even yell at her for doing something stupid- although he never came. Not once, her hope diminished.

Esme didn't even understand why she kept waiting for him when she was with Scorpius. But she did, and in the deepest part of her brain, she hid the truth of what she was beginning to feel. Mr.Malfoy made her feel like no other. His touch, sparking her body, lighting her up in flames. He added fire to her dying flames - But as she grew accustomed to no one being around, not even Mr.Malfoy, her flame diminished. She had nothing to offer.

How was she supposed to feel worthy when no one wanted to be near her. When no one wanted to spend time with her. She tried to come up with solutions to her problems, questioning what she had done, what she had said to drive everyone away. 

She knew it wasn't her fault, because she really didn't do anything wrong, but she still blamed herself. She wished she could be back in the cell so she wouldn't blame herself for feeling this sort of pain.

The pain was beyond miserable. She was miserable. And it hurt like hell.

She was numb.