Ineffable. [D. Malfoy]

nine.

Esme woke up groggily, in the arms of the man she did not want to be sleeping near. She was craving the presence of his father, and the worst feeling was the guilt that continuously flooded through her chest. Her mind was overthrown with thoughts. She couldn't even fall asleep because of the constant overlapping thoughts that all seemed to come back to Mr.Malfoy. She wanted for it to stop, to leave this unwelcomed feeling and embrace her love for Scorpius. But she couldn't. She was lacking the push to obtain the feelings she once had. She knew she was never going to give up. Her feelings would have to come back sooner or later. She wouldn't let anything take away her focus, she needed to become better, so she could leave. She needed to start a new life, and in the end, she would have to leave the man who saved her from three godawful years.

Another large wave of guilt hit her body all over again. She hated to see the ones she truly cared about hurt. It destroyed her. She was always putting others before herself. It wasn't the default of human nature, It was just her. It was who she was, and who she was raised to be. It was a trait that just stuck with her through everything. From beginning to now. Probably until the very end, which she assumed was approaching soon.

How many more days of this fake happiness could she endure? It was becoming harder than she could ever imagine. It was tearing her apart, piece by piece. Slowly breaking down all she was trying to keep up. It was soon going to reveal just how broken she has become.

"Breakfast?" Scorpius mumbled in the crook of her neck. She flinched slightly at the sound of his voice, eyes piercing towards the table that had already been set out with breakfast. Fruits and bread covered the table in a beautiful layout. Her stomached growled as she gently unwrapped his arms from around her.

"I'm famished."

Her voice cracked. She didn't take notice of the small tears that escaped and wet her cheeks. Quickly wiping them away, she took a deep breath in, staring at the wall. A permanent frown had taken over her features, but with a single deep breath, she faked a smile, hoping a light would blossom in her eyes to hide all her secrets away from Scorpius. Just for him to believe nothing was wrong. Not that he would notice anyways. 

She knew his routine. He would ask to have breakfast with her to make up for all he's done the past weeks. He would ramble on about his job, and she would sit there giving him her full attention. And then her heart would shatter a little more bit as she raised her voice to speak along with him but would be shut down each time as he involved himself in her topic, somehow. She hated it.

She also missed the feeling of Mr.Malfoy's cold touch on her warm hand. Two complete opposites seemingly fit together. Like a collision of two worlds. Fire, the warmth of life. The ignition to it all. He lit her flames that seemed to erupt into something much larger. His touch was a fire that spread through her veins. His persona was affiliated with the feeling of care and compassion. Mr.Malfoy held an endless ambition, which filled his own veins with perseverance. And she was deeply infatuated.

But his cold touch was the complete contrast she had been yearning for. The icy texture of his smooth fingers against her warm flesh was all she ever needed. It was becoming her solace. She knew fire and ice played each other as a game. It was a frenzy between the two. As much as they never wanted to be around each other, they needed one another to survive. Both fire and ice worked together. They were a pair that brought a certain calmness to life. They were a hidden balance.

They aided each other.

And he was aiding her.

Scorpius sat across from her at the table, politely placing the napkin on his lap. She rolled her eyes at his actions. She hated the way he was always tried to impress her with his formality. It was quite annoying.