Hurt By You ✔️

Twenty

"if you love yourself for yourself then you don't need anyone else to remind you that you are worthy."
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"That's definitely not something you should be proud of Ben." Willow laughed.

"Look if you think that eating 20 hot dogs under an hour isn't something to brag about then that is on you and you are a girl Willow so you wouldn't know how my mind works," Ben said with a teasing smile.

Willows scoffs and shoves Ben making him drop the hotdog he was about to eat.

I laugh as the two start to bicker.

I don't even know how we got to this kind of conversation. I swear every time we have lunch, we always discuss weird and random topics.

"You're just jealous that you could never eat that many hot dogs."

"I wouldn't want to eat one anyway," Willow said while scrunching her face. "They aren't healthy, and god knows what they put in that dreadful meat."

"I don't care they are good." Ben shrugged.

Willow rolls her eyes before taking another bite of her food.

I look down at the book I had in my hand.

It's another poetry book. They have a good collection in the library so I checked out as many as I could.

"Who am I? Who am I trying to be? Not myself, anyone but myself. Living in a fantasy to bury the reality, Making myself the mystery, A strong facade disguising the misery. Empty, but beyond the point of emptiness, Full to brim with fake confidence, A guard that will never be broken, Because I broke a long time ago. I'm hurting but don't tell anyone-"

I was about to turn the page but then I feel someone sit down next to me making me look up from the book and see Mathew. I feel someone else sit next to me, which was Kayden, making me even more confused. Ethan sits down next to Willow making her look at him.

"Uh hey, guys," I said awkwardly.

I have no clue why they are here. I know Mathew has been asking me non-stop to sit with him, but I just never made a move to.

"You know you suck at keeping promises?" Mathew said and looked at me.

"And you said you would drag me to the table?" I counter-argue.

"Touché'" Mathew said nodding his head making me laugh a little.

"What are you guys even doing here?" I asked looking at them.

I noticed that Grayson wasn't here today, making me wonder where he was.

"Well, I am making you keep your promise even if I have to bring my ass out here," Mathew said while looking around where we were sitting. It was a nice quiet place. There was fresh air, no yelling or screaming, no smelly cafeteria food. "Why do you guys sit out here anyways?" Mathew asked looking at Willow.

"It's better than eating inside." She shrugged.

"Damn right it is," Ethan said. "It doesn't smell like ass out here and I don't have to hear everyone talking and screaming in there."

"I think I am going to steal your table, Alexis," Mathew said. "Yup I am stealing it. This table is officially mine."

"Yea right Mathew." I chuckled while rolling my eyes.

"I'm being dead serious. I am going to come here every day to steal your nice little table."

I laughed. "I don't own this table, so you have to ask Ben and Willow. They are the owners of this table."

Mathew looked at Willow with widened eyes. Willow looked at him and then Ben who had a bored expression.

Willow smiles. "The more the merrier." Before Mathew could lung out of his seat and cheer Willow spoke again. "But I am still in charge of this table."

Mathew narrowed his eyes at her. "Seriously?" Willow nodded and smiled with her teeth showing. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but I love it when she smiles. It makes me want to smile. "Whatever you say, your majesty."

I chuckled and looked down at the book I was reading.

"What are you reading?" I look up and see Kayden staring at the book in my hand.

"A poetry book."

"What's it about?"

"Loss, Greif, Love, and some other stuff," I stated.

"Read me one." He stated.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

I didn't think Kayden would be interested in poetry books then when I was at his house, I did a bookshelf with some books that I recognized on there.

I also started on my essay. It has one paragraph done but it was just about my likes and dislikes. Nothing personal because I am terrified to go any deeper than just random easy questions I can answer.

I looked down at the book in my hands.

"You split me open in the most honest way there is to spilt a soul open and force me to write at a time I was sure I could not write again," I said softly and then looked up at Kayden.

"That's a good one." He stated.

I nodded my head while nipping at my lip a little.