AJR-Panic Attacks

JJ- 1 (Text)

JJ'S POV

*ding!*
My phone vibrates in the left pocket of my pants. I pull it out to read it, hoping it's my brother or girlfriend wishing me luck for the show that starts in a few hours. Instead, I see it's my grandpa.

"You are a disgrace to this family. Don't come back home. You left us and that is unacceptable. You should have made better choices-"

I stop reading it. I drop my phone down on the ground, staring at it in fear.

What have I done?

I back away, scared, as I re-hear whatever I just read in my head. I end up knocking into the wall of the dressing room, startling me out of my head, but only for a split second. My mind is haunted with the sentences of hatred I just read. I lean back against the wall and slowly slide down it, until I reach the ground. My knees stay up near my chest, my arms crunching them closer to me. I stare off into space, my mind circling around the thoughts sent by my once favourite person.

He's right he's right he's right he's right! I know I'm an idiot. I'm a disgrace. I'm a failure.

"Hey JJ, we're starting dinner, you coming?" I vaguely hear Adam call out.
"JJ?" He questions, as he has yet to see me. I let out a whimper of fear, alerting him that something isn't right. He peers around the room, his eyes finally landing on me.

"What's wrong?" He asks frantically, running over to me. He crouched down beside me, and I curl up, laying my head in my knees, scared of what to say.

"What's going on?" Adam asks more casually. I want him to leave me alone, so I curl up even tighter, trying to send him the message.

"Woah, you're trembling." He notices. "JJ, talk to me. I'm here to listen. Say as much or as little as you want." As I realize he isn't going to leave me alone, I pull my head up from my knees, letting him see my tears still streaming down my face. My breathing is short, shallow, and rapid, and it isn't going to slow down anytime soon. I whimper out what I meant to be "I can't breathe", but I'm pretty sure only the first word came through correctly.

"Woah, JJ... Ok. Can we try breathing together? We'll breathe in for 5, and out for 5. In for 5, out for 5. He starts breathing while counting, me slowly getting the hang of it. The first few times, I would go back to hyperventilating before Adam would start counting again. My lungs are exhausted, I just want it to end.
No less than 10 minutes later, I finally manage to calm down.

"Is that better?" Adam asks gently.

"Tons." I reply, finally able to speak.

"Now, let's talk. Say as much or as little as you want. You know I'm not going to judge you."

"I... I got this uhmm..." I start, trying to keep myself calm while talking about it. "I got a text from my grandpa. Basically it says that they hate me and never want me to..."

"To what?" Adam questions as I went silent.

"To come back home."

"Ohhh, JJ... What about your parents? You live with them still, don't you?" I nod.

"I would always go to my grandparents house for weekends or sometimes longer for New Years. But now...." Luckily I didn't have to finish for Adam to understand. I felt my throat go scratchy, the exact feeling you get when you're about to cry. I cover my face with both my hands as Adam rests a brotherly hand on my shoulder.

"I'll give you my one piece of advice. You can take it or leave it." Adam starts. "Talk to them. Maybe it's just a big misunderstanding. Maybe you just need to hear them out or they need to hear you out. Talking to them about it won't do much harm, only good. Just think about it, ok?" I nod, sniffling back my tears creeping to come out.

"Thanks." I mumble, just wanting some alone time.

"Anytime. Would you like me to stay and talk, stay and listen, stay and just be here, or leave?" Adam asks simply.

"Leave. Please." I say, hoping I don't sound too bitter.

"Of course. Feel better, ok?" Adam smiles, standing up and leaving.
I stay in my spot against the wall, Adam keeping a close eye on me from the other side of the dressing room. I appreciate his thoughtfulness looking out for me. I go on my phone to get my mind off of the whole scenario, and end up forgetting about it as Adam tells me it's time for the show.

A/N- thank you @-Hello_Earthlings- for the inspiration for this story!!