AJR-Panic Attacks

Adam- 4 (Timing)

Adams POV

"Hey Adam," our tour manager, Joe, starts. "Just so you know, there's a big storm on our way to Chicago, so we're going to be late getting to the venue." We are sitting in the front lounge as he tells me. The rest of the crew is playing Mario Kart on the couches in the front of the bus, Joe and I sitting at the table. I glance down at the time on my computer, and realize how late were actually going to be. I get lost in my thoughts for a moment before snapping out of it and shutting my computer louder then I should've. I look around, awaiting the stares of the crew, but they're all too distracted. I stand up and make my way to the back lounge, where I know no one is. I pace back and forth in the little room, my head swimming with cloudy thoughts.

We're never going to make it to the venue on time. We're going to be late for VIP, and we're going to have to cancel it. The fans are going to be so mad.

"Adam?"

The crew won't have enough time to set up the stage correctly. The screen takes forever to start working. It's not going to work.

"Adam, are you ok?"

Ugh, I feel awful. My stomach is gurgling, my hands are shaking, my head is pounding with my heart, I feel hot but also cold. What is happening to me.

"Ryan!"

We're going to have to cancel the show. There's no other option.

"Adam!" I look up at Ryan who calls my name. I look down at my hands as they shake. I start to feel faint and I stumble down and land on the couch. I pull my knees up into my chest, curling my body into a tight ball, not wanting to relax. As my heart went thumping away in my head, it starts to gain speed, as does my breathing. I feel a soft hand rest on my shoulder, and I look up to see Ryan sitting beside me on the couch.

I don't want him to be looking at me! He's going to think I'm stupid and make fun of me. I feel like such a baby.

Tears start cascading down my face and I fall into Ryan. Even though I didn't want Ryan to look at me, I feel awful and need help. Ryan moves his hand to graze around my back in small, smooth circles as my breathing continues gaining speed.

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

"Shh, don't talk. Focus on your feet on the couch. It'll end Adam. I promise." Ryan speaks clearly and calmly, starting to calm me down. My mind shifts to focus on my feet as I realize the grounding image Ryan planted in my mind.

"Settle down, you're ok." Ryan mutters.

Your feet are on the ground, you're not floating in outer space. You feel Ryan's hand circling your back. It's going slow and softly. And look, Ryan isn't freaking out, he's really calm.

"Let's get your breathing back, yeah?" Ryan hints after a moment.
"Let's breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth."

Simple. In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

"Slow it down, it's ok."

In through your nose, out through your mouth. Slowly. See, look at you! You're slowing down your breathing, the shaking is decreasing, now you just need to lessen the tension in your muscles. Remember, Ry is calm and relaxed.

"Good job Adam. You're settling down, you're doing great." Ry encourages. "Take two more deep breaths."

Two more deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. One. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Two. Aahh. It's over. You're nice and calm now.

"Alright. Good job. Would you like to explain what happened?" Ryan questions. I sigh as I start to explain.

"Joe said we are gonna be late getting to the venue and I was overthinking and for some reason thought that we would have to cancel tonight."

"Adam." Ryan sighs. "We've got lots of time. We'll get to the venue with lots of time, we can start with VIP, the crew can set up the stage, and we can eat some food and put on an amazing show for our fans. Ok?" I nod. I knew I was overreacting.

"Thank you." I mumble.

"Of course! Are you ok now?" I answer with a nod, then he wraps his arms around me and gives me a hug.

Exactly what I needed.

"How did you know I was back here?" I question, the thought circling in my mind.

"Ezra saw you run back and went to see what happened. He said you totally zoned out and wouldn't respond to your name, so he called me back."

"Oh." I exhale. "Alright."