AJR-Panic Attacks

Adam- 2 (Late School Work)

Adams POV

"Thank you Los Angeles!" Jack says happily, grabbing me and Ryans hands as we bow. We run off stage and take our finale costumes off. We get back to the dressing room, and we pack up our things and head to the bus. I'm exhausted today. I don't know if it was just from the show, or from today in general. I go down to the back lounge where I sit on the couch and grab out my computer. I know I'm behind on homework for collage. I should've done more. I've just been so busy with starting the tour. I've been so stressed, it's just been a lot. So, I open my computer, start going to my classes and I realize how much I've missed. I'm so far behind. How did I manage to miss so much. I'm never going to catch up. I sit there, staring at my computer, not knowing what to do. I zone out, immersed in my own thoughts. I'm never going to finish my PhD. I can't. It's impossible. I can't do it. I can't do anything. I don't even realize it, but I start tensing up like crazy. I put my fingers through my hair and lock them into place, holding my head. My knees start moving up to my chest, and my computer falls into the floor with a loud thud. A few seconds later, Ryan comes peeking through the door.
"Hey Adam, you ok?" He asks. I can't hear him.
"Adam?" He says again, coming in to sit beside me. He rests a hand on my shoulder.
"You ok?" He asks. I snap out of my thoughts and jump up.
"No! I'm failing! Everything was worth nothing! I can't do anything! I'm useless!" I yell at him. Ryan looks at me in sad shock.
"Adam.." he starts.
"No! I'm the worst person in the world! I'm useless, I'm failing, I'm stupid and I'm just an idiot!" I say back at him.
"Adam!" He says, scaring me a bit. "None of that is true and you know that! You're probably just freaking out because we've had a long day. Why don't you get some rest." Ryan says.
"No!" I say, changing my tone to almost being disappointed in myself, sitting back on the couch.
"What's wrong Adam?" He asks me concerned.
"I am way too far behind on my PhD, I'm never going to finish it! I've missed so many classes, I'm never going to catch up!" I say, crumpling up into a ball on the couch. He rests his hand back on my shoulder and gives me a half hug. I pull my head up from my knees and look away from him. We go silent for a second, then I look back at him. He looks hurt.
"Adam, really?" He says looking me dead in the eyes. "You are the Adam Met. Do you really think you won't finish your PhD?" I give a half nod and look back at him.
"You're probably just stressed from tour starting." I nod in defeat. He's right. He's always right.
"I want you to forget about your PhD-"
"But!" I interrupt.
"No." He says. "Just listen. I want you to forget about your PhD for two nights. Don't work on it, don't even think about it. Focus on tour for the next two days, then you can get back to the homework. Ok?" I nod. I uncoil from my ball and give him a hug.
"Thanks Ry." I say quietly.
"Anytime Adam. It's what brothers do. Now, it is getting pretty late, and we've been up for way to many hours, I recommend you get to sleep." He says, patting my back.
"Yeah.." I say.
"Alright. I'll take your computer, you can have it in the morning. You go to sleep." Ryan says.
"Ok.." I say. I stand up, but before I leave I turn to Ryan again.
"Thank you." I say.
"No problem Adam. Now go get some sleep. Love you." Ryan says. It takes me a bit off guard as we never said we love each other. Or at least we haven't in a few years.
"Love you too Ry. Goodnight." I say, and walk to my bunk and climb in. As soon as my head touched my pillow I was out.