AJR-Panic Attacks

Ryan- 2 (Interview)

RYANS POV

"Hello beautiful humans!" One of our good friends, Zach sang says. We're doing a interview, breaking down our third album, Neotheater. Interviews usually stress me out. I don't know why. They just always make me nervous. I guess it's being so vulnerable with the music and with all the emotion that was put into this album. Especially Dear Winter and Turning Out part ii. I was basically crying the entire time while writing them, and then Jack's reaction to Dear Winter made it a thousand times better. Or worse. I don't know.

We talked in the interview for a while, and then we got talking about dear winter and turning out part ii, and I start to get really nervous. Zach starts talking again. I don't know if he's ignoring me or if he's oblivious. I start shaking subtly, and I look at Jack. Jack knows right away that I'm not ok. He looks at Adam who also clues in that I'm not ok. I pull my knees up to my chest, and bury my head in my knees. Jack pulls his headphones off and puts his mic down, kneeling in front of me. He moves my mic away from me, takes my headphones off, and grabs my hand. I subconsciously tried to pull my hand away, but jack wouldn't let me. Adam immediately asks,
"Hey do you guys mind pausing the interview for a minute?" Dan responds,
"Yeah, sure, is everything ok over there?" With no response from anyone. Jack rubs his thumb around the back of my hand as Adam came and sat beside me, wrapping his arm around me. Zach and Dan are quietly watching what is happening.
"Do you guys want some water?" Dan asks Adam quietly.
"Yeah sure. Thanks Dan." Adam replies.
Dan comes back with the water, and hands it to Adam.
"Ok, Ry, it's ok, breathe, we're right here, you're ok." Jack says, trying to calm me down. It isn't working. I start to get really light headed, so I end up resting my head on Adam's chest. Since my back wasn't on the back of the couch anymore, Adam started rubbing my back.
"Ry, just breathe, you're ok, we're not going anywhere." Adam added.
"Ryan, just take one deep breath for me ok? In through your nose, out your mouth." Jack said. I take a shaky deep breath and Jack says it again.
"In through your nose, out your mouth. Good job Ry." I take another deep breath or two, and I rest my head on the back of the couch. Adam hands me the water bottle and tells me,
"Here, have some water Ry." I take the water bottle, taking another deep breath. I drink some water and Jack moves so that he's blocking everyone else from seeing me, and me from seeing them.
"Ok Ry, do you want to continue the interview, or do you want to go back to the hotel and do the interview another day?"
"No, it's ok." I say quietly. I didn't like talking to anyone else during these, or only talking to Adam and Jack.
"Are you sure Ry?" Adam asks. "We can leave and come back, it's not a problem."
"No, it's ok." I say, taking another deep breath.
"Ok, take a few more deep breaths before we continue then, ok?" I nod, taking another deep breath.
"Do you want me to explain it?" Jack asks. I nod, knowing I can't speak for a while after these. After another minute or so, I put my legs down sitting criss-cross.
"Alright, ready?" Jack asks me again. I nod, and take a final deep breath. "Ok." Jack finishes, and Adam moves back to his seat, and Jack moves back to his.
"You ok over there?" Zach asks. I did start trying to speak, but Jack does for me like he offered.
"Yeah, he's ok. Just was overstimulated and freaked out a bit. We're good now."
"You sure?" Dan asks. "We can stop and postpone this until later."
"No, it's ok. He'll be ok, right Ry?" He asks me. I nod and force a smile, taking a drink of water. They turn the cameras back on and my mind goes back into the album. I was super jittery for the rest of the interview, but I think I hid it well with my nervous habits.
Once we were dont the interview, we pack up our stuff and go out for a late lunch.
"You alright now?" Jack asks me.
"Yeah." I say, itching my hands.
"Any particular reason you panicked today? Or what?" Adam asked.
"I think I was just too nervous talking about Dear  Winter and Turning Out Part ii that it just built up inside me and I freaked out." I respond.
"How was it with Zach and Dan watching you? Did you realize that?" Adam asks.
"It was fine. I didn't really notice it, but I'm glad it was them and not someone else who we don't know, if that makes sense."
"Yeah, it does. Good job Ry." Jack says.
"Thank you guys for calming me down." I say.
"Anytime." Adam and Jack say at the same time, making us all laugh.