AJR-Panic Attacks

Winter- 3 (Dressing Room)

Winters POV

I can't breathe. I make my way to the dressing room. No ones in there. I just want Dad. I sit down on the couch and pull my knees up to my chest. I hide my face in my knees. I hear someone walking in.
"Hey Winter, you ok?" It's Uncle Jack. I don't look up at him, but I shake my head no.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks me. I debate looking up. I feel him kneeling beside the couch and gently putting his hand on my back, trying to figure out what to do.
"You having a panic attack?" Jack asks me gently. I nod and start to cry. "Alright I'll get your Dad." My mind takes over again and I can't focus.
"Ryan!" Uncle Jack yells. Uncle Adam comes walking in a few seconds later.
"What's wrong?" Uncle Adam asks.
"Winters having a panic attack, we need Ryan."
"Ok. I'll call him, you sit beside Winter, and try to calm him down until Ryan gets here."
"Ok." Uncle Jack says. He sits up on the couch and rests his hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, Winter, it's ok, we're getting your Dad, it's ok." I hear Uncle Adam on the phone. I was unbelievably tense and I couldn't breathe. Uncle Adam gets off the phone and sits down in front of me, because I was on the corner of the couch and Uncle Jack was beside me. Uncle Adam rests his hands on my legs.
"Don't worry Winter, your dad's on his way." Uncle Adam says. I continue crying as I hear Dad come in a minute later.
"Winter.." Dad says. Uncle Jack and Uncle Adam move out of the way as Dad sits beside me on the couch and pulls me into his chest.
"Hey, it's ok, I'm right here." Dad says. I bury my head in his neck as I continue crying and hyperventilating like crazy. I was still unbelievably tense as Dad rubbed my back, trying to calm me down.
"Shhh, it's ok.." Dad says softly. "Hey can one of you guys go get Cat?" Dad asked. Uncle Adam says yes and I hear him walk out of the room, closing the door behind him. I hear Uncle Jack in the chair beside us, grabbing something. I start to hear the chords of my song. As Uncle Jack was playing my song, and Dad was rubbing my back, I start to feel myself calming down. Mom and Uncle Adam come back, and Mom sits beside us on the couch and rests her hand on my side.
"Shhhh, it's ok." Dad says again. I started to breathe almost normally again, but I couldn't get any less tense. I tried and failed. I stopped crying but I didn't move away from Dad. Uncle Jack finished my song and Mom asks me,
"Hey, Winter, what's wrong?" I can't answer her yet.
"Just relax Winter, I've got you." Dad says. I can't though.
"Do you need to take some deep breaths for him to follow?" Mom asks Dad as if I'm not there. Dad says,
"No, he's breathing fine, he's just not relaxing." Dad says. "Hey Adam, can you get Winters blanket out of the bus?" Dad asks Uncle Adam.
"Yeah sure, is it in his bunk?" Uncle Adam asks.
"Yeah, the grey fluffy one." Dad says.
"Ok." Uncle Adam answers and stands up to go get it. From what I can remember about this venue, the exit to the bus is the second door around the corner from this dressing room. So Uncle Adam should be back soon enough. Uncle Jack continues playing the chords of my song as I try to calm down. Before long, Uncle Adam comes back with my blanket and wraps it around me and Dad. Mom fixes the blanket around me and tucks it behind Dad. Dad turns his head to me and quietly says,
"Hey, wanna move your head over?" My head was still buried in his neck, and I couldn't really breathe well anyways. It takes me a second, but I quickly move my head over to the other side of his neck, half facing Mom, but my eyes were covered by Dads chin. Because I was so tense, I grabbed onto Dads shirt. Dad kept rubbing my back and Mom tried to rub my side. She was a bit far away so she couldn't really reach.
"Want us to do soundcheck without you Ry?" Uncle Jack asks.
"That would be great, thanks." Dad says. Uncle Jack and Uncle Adam leave to go do soundcheck, but Mom and Dad stay back, trying to calm me down.
"Hey Winter, can you relax for me?" Mom asks me. I want to, but I can't.
"I... I can't." I stutter out.
"Ok. Well, we're not going anywhere until you relax, ok Winter?" Dad says. I nod.
"What else can we do to help him relax?" Mom asks Dad.
"Just hugs and wait. I don't want to rush him." Dad says. I was grateful Dad let me take my time. I don't know why I was so tense but I was. Dad rested his chin on my forehead and that seemed to help. Dad also lifted my shirt up a bit and rested his warm hands on my bare back. I don't know why, but that seemed to help me relax. After a while, I finally start to calm down and relax.
"There ya go." Dad says after he feels me start to get less tense.
"Hey, you relaxing now?" Mom asks, rubbing my shoulder, looking up from her phone.
"I'm proud of you Winter." Dad says.
"Why?" I ask quietly.
"Because. You're not afraid to calm down in front of other people. I wouldn't want to calm down in front of anyone, and yet you calmed down in front of Uncle Jack and Uncle Adam."
"But it took me forever to relax." I say.
"And, you still calmed down. And, you let me calm you down." Dad says.
"Yeah but-"
"No buts Winter. I'm glad you calmed down." Dad says.
"What was wrong anyways bud?" Mom asks.
"I don't know. I just started freaking out and I couldn't breathe and I wouldn't stop tensing up. Then Uncle Jack found me and called for you, but then Uncle Adam came in and then Uncle Adam called you and you came and you calmed me down." I say.
"Ok. Well at least it's good to know people are looking out for you." Dad says. Uncle Jack and Uncle Adam come back in from soundcheck to see how I'm doing.
"Hey, how's it going in here?" Uncle Jack asks.
"Pretty good. Winter finally calmed down." Dad says. I haven't moved from where I was. Partially because I was comfortable, but also because I didn't want to move, and I was still a bit tense. Dad kept his hands on my back and his chin stayed on my forehead.
"Hey bud, you ok now?" Uncle Jack asks me, rubbing my shoulder. I nod, staying against Dads chest. Dad looks up at Uncle Jack and then rests his chin back on my head.
"Well, it is almost dinner time." Uncle Adam says. "Want me to get you two some food and bring it back?" Dad answers,
"That would be awesome, thanks Adam."
"Cat, do you wanna come help me?" Uncle Adam asks Mom. She says yeah and Uncle Jack, Uncle Adam and Mom leave, leaving me and Dad alone in the dressing room. Once they left, Dad moved his one foot so it was on the table in front of us. He also moved his left hand out of the blanket and started rubbing my back and shoulder. I was still a bit tense and Dad points it out.
"Hey, just relax. There's no one here but me, it's ok." Dad says, making me feel safe. "Just close your eyes and calm down." Dad added. I nodded and closed my eyes. I guess I didn't realize how tense I still was. Once I closed my eyes, I felt more of where Dads hands were and I started to calm down and relax.

RYANS POV
I told him to relax, because I don't think he realized how tense he still was around me. He wasn't hurting me or anything, in fact, he was making me feel like the best Dad ever. I tell him to close his eyes and almost immediately after, he relaxes a lot. Not all the way, but more then I thought he would. Cat and Adam and Jack went to go get some food for us. A few minutes later, I look down at Winter and he's fully asleep. I smile looking at my baby asleep on my chest, just like he was when he was little. I don't know what set him off today, but I'm glad Jack and Adam were there to begin with, and then I'm glad I could calm him down. After a bit, Adam, Jack and Cat come back with food. When they walk in, I put my left hand to my lips to tell them to shush.
"Did he fall asleep?" Cat asks quietly, handing me a plate of food. I nod, smiling. Adam puts Winters plate on the table in front of us and all us adults dig into dinner, trying not to be too loud for Winter. Before long, we all finish our food, and Adam gives us the 10 minute warning for VIP.
"Do you want to stay here with Winter?" Adam asks me.
"Well, I want to do VIP, so I'll set him down before we go. Cat, you can stay back with him until he wakes up, right?" Cat nods. Once Adam gave us the time to go, I carefully lifted Winter up and set him down on the couch on his side, wrapping the blanket around him better. Luckily Winter is a heavy sleeper, so he didn't even flinch when I moved him. Me, Adam and Jack all head down to VIP, and I try to focus on the fans. While we were playing dodgeball, as I'm standing on the sides because I was out, Cat and Winter come walking down the hallway. I walk around the barricade and Winter comes running up to me. I crouch down and he gives me a hug.
"How are you doing?" I ask.
"Good." He replies.
"Wanna stay and watch some dodgeball?" I ask. Winter nods. "Alright, come here." I say, picking him up. I walk back over to where Jack and Adam are, and watch as the top three battle it out for first place. The two on the one team get the one person on the other team out, so they need to do a tie breaker against each other. Before they start playing as they were setting up, I say,
"Hey everyone, this is Winter. Winter say hi!" I say. Winter gets kinda shy but waves to the fans. "That's all." I say, and everyone goes back to dodgeball. Once the game was over and we had a winner, I put Winter down to sign the ukulele. Winter stays right beside me as I sign it. We pass the ukulele to the winner and I crouch down and turn to Winter.
"Can you give him a high five?" I ask him. He holds out his hand and so does the winner. They high five, and then the other fans start coming up and asking Winter for high fives. Winter was so excited, I could see it on his face. Once all the fans got high fives, I pick Winter up and we walk back to wait for our crew to set up the meet and greet.