AJR-Panic Attacks

Jack- 12 (Waterslides)

JACK's POV

"Race ya!!" Ryan cheers, running like a little kid up the stairs to one of the tallest water slides in the park.

I stare at the stairs leading up and freeze. It's really high. Like... REALLY high. I feel Ezra pat my back saying,

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I lie, shaking myself out of my trance.

I really don't want to go on the water slide, but Ryan's really excited about it, so I feel like I need to do it. I start walking up the stairs with Ezra and Adam, about three or four stair cases below Ryan. I get about halfway up and I start shaking. Every step up I feel like I'm going to trip and fall down, making me shake even more. I stop on one of the landings of the stairs, Adam and Ezra questioning,

"You ok?"

"Y-yeah I'm fine, just have to catch my breath, there's a lot of stairs." I explain.
Ezra and Adam stop with me when Adam comments,

"Woah, Jack, you're trembling."

"What?" I react as if I don't realize it.

"You're trembling." Adam repeats, getting more worried about me.

"Do you maybe want to stop for a sec and sit down?" Ezra suggests.

"N-no. Ry-Ryan's already u-up there." I pant. My throat feels like it's closing up, and all I want to do is run and hide, but I don't know what to do. Adam picks up on the stutters in my voice along with my further panicking motions and says,

"Ok, Jack, I need you to sit and settle down for a second."

"B-but Ry-Ryan!" I squeak out, getting much worse as the seconds go by.

"I'll go get him. You need to sit down Jack." Ezra states. I finally listen to them and sit on the cold concrete floor. Adam crouches down in front of me, placing his hands on my knees, which have jumped up to my chest. I hug my knees close to me as my breathing starts accelerating rapidly. As my throat closes up even smaller, I start wheezing for air and I can't breathe.

"Jack, hey," Adam says in a calm, non-demeaning tone. "What can I do to help you?" I don't look up at him or answer his question. I can feel my heart accelerating as it pulses through my head. I haven't stopped trembling, and I know I won't for a while. Ryan comes running down the stairs, followed by Ezra, and Ryan crouches down in front of me, beside Adam.

"What's wrong Jack?" I hear Ryan ask me.

"He's not going to answer." Adam states.

"What happened?" Ryan asks.

"We were walking up behind you and he just started shaking and then we stopped so he could breathe, but he got worse." Adam explains.

"Jack, what's wrong?" Ryan whispers to me in a tone so emotional, I felt like I had to answer him.

"S-scared." I whimper out, my voice barely audible.

"Why are you scared?" Ryan asks in such a non-critical tone. He sounded almost hurt by my actions.

"Too... high." I whisper, Ryan could barely hear me.

"Why didn't you say something?" Ryan asks.

"You were re-really excited." I mumble.

"Jack! You don't need to make yourself scared for me to be happy! That makes me feel awful that you're scared about this. Let's head back down, yeah?"

"B-but I c-can't breathe!" I cry out again.

"Alright. Let's breathe together. Count to 10 with me, ok?"
We count to 10 as if we are little children. I don't know why that helped me so much, but it calmed me down a lot. We repeat it about 2 or 3 times when I feel ok enough to stand up. Ryan wraps his arm around my shoulder and guides me down, followed by Ezra and Adam. We go back to our picnic bench and I sit down for a bit. Yeah, I was just sitting for about 10 minutes calming down, but once I moved I felt weird again so I'm sitting again. Ryan sits down beside me, Adam and Ezra taking seats across from us.

"What do you wanna do now Jack?" Adam asks.

"Wanna head back to the bus?" Ryan offers.
I take a second to think. I want to stay, but I also want to go sit on the bus with a blanket on me and relax a little bit more.

"We can stay for a bit." I decide.

"Are you sure Jack? We can go back to the bus too." Adam tries to reason with me, making sure I know that it's my decision.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm gonna sit here for a little bit to calm down, and then I'll go on a few more rides and then we can head back." I say.

"Ok Jack. But if at any point you want to leave, tell us and we'll leave." Ryan states.

"Ok." I nod. "Go have fun for a bit, I need to relax." I ask, secretly wanting them to leave. Adam, Ezra and Ryan exchange looks and I see Adam and Ezra standing up and going to find a ride, but Ryan stays put.

"I'm gonna stay back with you for a bit, ok?" Ryan states more than asks. I nod, secretly smiling because I wanted Ry to stay back. I lay my head down on a towel resting on the picnic bench and Ryan pats my back. I turn to face Ryan and whisper,

"Thanks."

"Anytime Jack." Ryan smiles. Ryan stays with me until Adam and Ezra come back from their slide, yelling and cheering,

"That is the best slide ever you guys HAVE to try it!!" I smirk at their reactions and, feeling ready enough to go, I do. We follow them back to the slide they were raving about and they were right. It's a pretty great slide. We slide for another hour or so before we all felt ready to head back to the bus. We pack up the stuff at the park and head back. As we get back we change and I wrap myself in a blanket as I said I would, and I hate to say it, but I fell asleep. I have a nap in the back lounge until I'm woken up by Ezra and Austin fighting about who won Mario kart. Overall, it was a pretty great day.