A Slap on Titan – Sarge's Epic Rant
"Wait we're rising the vulgarity?" Tyrian asked excitedly.
Dan nodded as Yang scoffed "I doubt there's anything that can surpass my fucks to give."
"This will change your mind." Dan replied.
"Oh Oum, you're just trying to test me aren't you?" Glynda asked.
Dan just responded with a laugh as he floated to the back "Oh by the way this is a parody dimension."
"A what?" Nora asked.
"A parody dimension is a dimension that makes fun of the original dimension it is portraying in a joking way." Dan explained.
"Oh so this is just harmless fun." Willow said.
"Exactly." Dan replied.
"And what dimension is it parodying then?" Salem asked.
"The one where Winter had slain the Beast Titan." Dan stated which shocked a lot of them.
"Seriously? That bloodbath?" Qrow asked.
"My achievement will be made a joke?" Winter asked.
"No this is a different scenario, not related to you." Dan replied.
"Huh, I wonder how anyone was able to make a joke out of that morbid dimension." Jaune said.
"Let's see." Dan said with a smirk as he started the dimension.
The sun was shining as recruits were all lined up with Clover in front of them, giving them his 'motivational' speech.
"I put in an order to the empire to send me a shitload of badasses and pillage-hungry murder machines and instead all I got was you cupcake cock-clowns and a side order of fuck-nuggets." Clover stated.
"Sweet Oum Clover!" Harriet exclaimed.
"WHAT!?" Clover shouted.
"No way..." Elm muttered with a smirk.
"Did this man just say cupcake cock-clowns?" Blake asked.
"With a side order of fuck-nuggets." Ruby added.
"This is gonna be fun." Nora said with a smirk.
"I can tell at a glance at least 50% of you are cock-suckers and the other 50% are cock-suckers who've never been told to believe in themselves." Clover stated.
"Atlas should be shut down." Glynda said as she stared in shock.
"Now I'm glad I went to Beacon." Weiss said.
"Was it really this bad?" Qrow asked.
"No! This is a mockery!" Winter exclaimed.
"How is anyone supposed to be motivated by this!? I know a sergeant's job is to toughen up the rookies but this is just verbal abuse." Ironwood stated.
"This is hilarious!" Roman exclaimed as half of the theater was already laughing.
"I'm gonna shove my boot so far and fast up your assholes, it'll trigger a geological event! You all reek of poverty and animal abuse! Every breath you take is a stunning endorsement of abortion, you shit-stains are a collective masterpiece of failure! You cock-gobble and circle jerk each other to exhaustion every night!" Clover stated.
Clover was a full on jaw-dropped statue at this point as everyone was either watching in shock or laughing at the hilariously shocking speech.
"Oh yeah this beat my vulgarity by a mile." Yang laughed.
"How is he coming up with this stuff!" Mercury exclaimed.
"I don't know but I don't want him to stop!" Emerald exclaimed.
"I gotta remember to use these on people!" Cinder laughed.
"Me too!" Tyrian laughed.
"You signed up to get pounded by the titans and probably cried like sissies when you realized they don't actually have dicks!" Clover stated as Yang grew angry at that.
"Why did you get angry at that!? Did you actually want that to happen!?" Roman laughed.
"No! That's just argh! What is this dimension!?" Yang exclaimed.
"A funny ass parody that's what!" Mercury exclaimed with a booming laugh.
"Your sensitive pussies cried so many tears, you could float away on a river of douche-canoes. You glitter-toed, cock-wrangling, fairy-tinkle bag of fuck nuggets are gonna get your collective anal cavities stretched so far apart you'll think you're getting double fisted by the Colossal Titan himself!" Clover continued.
"Sweet Oum Clover calm down!" Ironwood shouted.
"Kill me..." Clover muttered tearfully.
"Is he okay?" Marrow asked.
Harriet poked him a couple of times and he was unmoving "Eh. He'll be fine."
"The English language should not be used this way." Glynda said as she kept listening in shock.
"Anybody can get creative, even to this extent." Port said.
"Yes, but this is just horrible." Glynda said.
"I respect his creativity." Ozpin said.
"What are you guys talking about!? This is amazing!" Taiyang exclaimed as he laughed.
"Agreed!" Qrow shouted.
"I can already imagine myself getting drunk and saying this as one of campaign speeches once." Robyn said with an amused laugh at the thought of such a thing.
"I will reorganize the failure that is all your lives! I will fuck-start your soul!" Clover shouted.
"You're just beating them down with all this verbal abuse!" Kali exclaimed.
"And I love it!" Nora exclaimed as she continued to laugh with Ruby and Yang.
"I'll make you mongoloid rock-chompin' thundercunts scream harder than your mothers after her fourth failed coat hanger abortion! I'm gonna chop off your shriveled balls, put 'em where your eyes should be, put a sombrero on your head and beat you like a piñata!" Clover shouted.
"I am strangely getting motivated by this." Ren said.
"Dude me too!" Sun exclaimed in surprise.
"Hell, I'll make you shit so many bricks you'll put the menagerians out of business!" Clover stated.
Ghira spit out the milk he was drinking with a laugh as Adam groaned at the nod dirty suit.
"But fear not, 'cause in three years, I will turn you cock-monarchs into fuck masters of galactic destruction!" Clover stated.
"SIR YES SIR!" Most of the theater saluted and shouted then burst out into a fit of laughter as Dan floated to the front.
"Told you it was vulgar." Dan said with a smirk.
"Okay! You were right! Oh my god you were right!" Yang exclaimed.
Glynda sighed as she shook her head and looked at Dan "What's next?"
"Alright play time's over, time to get serious." Dan said.
"Aww." Ruby and Nora whined.
"Time to see if how much a king is willing to sacrifice." Dan said with a laugh.
YOU ARE READING
RWBY DIMENSIONS
FanfictionA being of great power has taken the RWBY Cast to another realm to watch themselves in different situations and adventures. How will they react to the things their other selves do and why are different versions of themselves so different?
