Alex knew the stories of how you meet your soulmate. He heard them so often from other people while he grew up. It started in highschool when he eardroped on the girls in the cafeteria talking about how they saw their soulmate in their dreams again. He always thought that they must make those stories up; that they can't be real but during his life he heard more and more people talking about their soulmates. And he soon understood that as soon as you start dreaming about your soulmate it isn't far until you meet them. So it has to be true as the girls that once talked about their soulmate during lunch soon ended up with them.
Alex never saw himself as the jealous type but he was; he was jealous of a lot of people. To be honest he was jealous of every single person that had a healthy mom and a sober dad at home. He was jealous of the people that didn't had to care for their little siblings as soon as they came home from school. That didn't needed to hide themself and their siblings in closets to stay safe. That didn't need to fight their own father of off their mother, when he once again came home drunk and high.
He was jealous of all those people with boring, normal lifes, but he was also jealous that he hasn't started to dream about his solemate yet. Because if he's honest, even if he would never admit it, he would love to have someone by his side to love and be loved by. Because love has never been something he really, truly felt. He doesn't really know what real love feels like. Of course he knows that his mother and his siblings love him but still it's not the kind of love he was lingering for. His heart was half empty and he would do anything to fill it as soon as possible.
This feeling didn't really changed as he got older. He graduated highschool, went through collage, started wrestling which opened his way to a scholarship for med school. But through out those years he still hasn't had the one dream he desperately wanted to have. So he tried to fill that emptiness with random chicks. If he couldn't have his soul mate he could at least have some fun on the way towards her, right? This way of thinking slowly became the motto of his life. Through out med school be became kind of a playboy. And it didn't change when he moved to Seattle to start at Seattle Grace Hospital. He kept sleeping around like he was used to. He slowly began to question everything, that maybe there simply wasn't someone for him. Maybe he didn't have a soulmate. He knew of people that never got their solemate dream and endet up alone. Maybe he was one of those. After all he was already 26 years old and slowly getting tired of waiting. What if he had to wait another twenty years. What if he would meet his soulmate when he is already in his fifties; because some people do. If that would be the case then he would be way too old to have kids. But he wants kids. Even though on the Alex Karev everybody gets to know seems like the grumpiest jerk of all time but on the inside he is a big softy - lingering for a wife, kids, a big house with a white picket fence and a dog maybe. And just the thought that he could possibly miss out on his opportunity to become a dad and husband to someone scares him - because he wants it so bad.
So eventually he tossed all those romantic thoughts about his soulmate aside and decided to take matters into his own hand. He started here and there and eventually started dating Izzie. He really liked her and he knew that she liked him too - not as a solemate or the love of your life, because Izzie already had her soul mate dream and it wasn't Alex. But he started to think that it could really work out for him this way. Maybe Izzie was his opportunity to get all those things he so desperately wants. But that thought was quickly tossed aside as they learned about her cancer. Alex made it his job to do everything in his power to make this hard time as good as possible for Izzie. He even agreed to fertilize her eggs and marry her. He owned it to her. She was dying and if this would make it better for her and made her happy then he would do it. And if he's honest the first few weeks of their marriage were actually pretty good. Alex loved the thought of being someone's husband and they even started to talk about using the fertilized eggs as soon as Izzie was cancer free. This thought alone made Alex giddy. But it didn't come that far. Just a few weeks later he found Izzie's letter in his locker and it broke his heart. He really thought that he and Izzie could have worked out. That she was his chance to get everything he ever wanted, but apparently she wasn't. That's another thing people say; if it's not your soul mate you're marrying it won't last if you don't work hard enough. Alex thought they did, he thought they worked hard enough but apparently he had been the only one that tried hard to make their relationship work.
Time moved on. Alex got divorce papers from Izzie's lawyer. He signed them and also signed away his rights of the frozen embryos that still existed. He moved on. He put himself into his work. He started dating here and there; tried to maybe find another woman he would like to grow old with and start a family with. He tried to forget about this whole soul mate crap, it was one big lie and he was convinced that his soul mate probably wasn't even worth the wait.
He started dating Lexie and if he was honest he really liked her. He didn't love her yet but maybe that would change and they could maybe make it the long haul.
But all those thoughts vanished as soon as he felt that bullet hit his chest. As soon as he collapsed on the floor, feeling his own blood slowly soaking his clothes he knew that this was probably it. This was the reason he never dreamed about his soul mate, because he would die right here. It made sense now; why letting someone dream about their soul mate if they are dead before they even meet them.
Even though the unbelievable pain that shot through his entire body, he somehow was able to move himself in an elevator. As he laid there in his own blood he slowly noticed how he went in and out of consciousness and the only thing he could think about was his stupid soul mate, that he wants to meet even more now that he was on the cliff of death. She had to be worth it, so he was fighting - against the pain, against the heavy desire to close his eyes.
The next moment everything tured silent. As he carefully opened his eyes again Alex found himself in a big wallless room. Everything was white and bright, with noone around. He was alone in this massive white room. Until a voice began to fill it. It was the most beautiful voice Alex had ever heard in his entire life. A voice so soft he could listen to it for the rest of his life. The next thing he saw was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. She was slowly walking towards him. Her soft golden eyes connect with his. The little smile on her face grew bigger and bigger with every step she comes closer. Her long brown locks falling over her shoulders. She is now only a few steps way. That's when the sweet smell of flowers and honey reach him. She is not only insanely beautiful she did also smell incredible; her whole presence just blew him away. How could this be her? Was this even her? Was she his soulmate? Or was this just the most beautiful dream he ever had? Was this just his brain playing tricks on him? Was this a hallucination because of all the blood he lost? This couldn't be real. It wasn't. It couldn't. No this couldn't be real because he was sure that he could never deserve a woman this breath taking to be his soulmate.
"Dude, stop thinking so much, you're gonna hurt something up there." She laughs, reaching out her hand to put it on his cheek carefully. He tries to move; to grab her and never let her go again but he can't move. Not an inche. His hands and legs are numb, while his heart is beating twice it's normal speed. He also can not talk. He desperately wants to ask her what her name is; he wants to tell her how insanely beautiful she is; he wants to tell her how he will do everything to make her happy as soon as she enteres his live, but he can't.
She leans a little closer and presses her lips on the cheek where her hand lingered just seconds ago. She throws another smile at him and then she's gone.
He's alone again in the big white room but the noises around him get louder again. The loud, continuous sound of a heart monitor gets him out of his dream completely and when he opens his eyes he finds himself in a hospital bed. Dressed in a hospital gown and connected to different monitors and machines. He has no idea what happened and how he got here, but he is so relieved that he isn't dead. Because the only thing he can think about right now is the beautiful brunette that will soon come into his life and be his forever. And if he thinks about it now, he has to admit that she was so worth the wait.
