Grif: I heard something that time!
Simmons: You didn't hear anything!
The two were awaiting for Sarge and Donut to find them within the cavern.
Grif: There! Did you hear that?
Simmons: Yes, I heard water dripping.
Grif: Sounds like bats!
Simmons: Bats aren't made of liquid. Bats don't drip!
Grif: Bat water!
Simmons: There are no bats!
Grif: You don't know! What if you're wrong?
Simmons: Okay, idiot. Let's assume I'm wrong. Let's assume there are bats, so what? You're wearing state of the art biomechanical body armor. It's designed to deflect bullets and absorb explosions. What can a five ounce flying rodent possibly do?
Grif: . . . . .So basically you're saying that you think there's bats.
Simmons: Sure, why not?
Grif: I'm getting the fuck out of here!
Simmons: No you're not, Grif! We're standing right here! I told Sarge we wouldn't move and we're not moving!
Grif: At least let's go stand by the light!
Simmons: No, that would be moving and thus would violate our strict "no moving" policy.
Grif: But the light-
Simmons: No!
Grif: -would help us see the bats. . .
Simmons: No!
Grif: And their fangs!
Simmons: NO!
Grif: Hey, you know what else might be in the cave Simmons? Snakes.
Simmons: You're an asshole Grif. Why would you bring up snakes?
Grif: I'm just saying. I know you don't like snakes and snakes live in caves and we are in a cave and snakes like to crawl right up next to people in caves, and then they-
Simmons: Alright screw it! I'm going to go stand by the light!
*With the Blues and Ruby*
Doc returned from his session with Sheila.
Doc: Okay, I talked to Sheila. You guys were right, she definitely seems a little odd.
Church: Yep, so what do you think?
Doc: I think she seems like there's something wrong.
Church: That's your diagnosis? That's why we sent you down there man! Because we knew something was wrong!
Ruby: Church, be honest, what did you expect?
Church: Actually, good point.
Doc: I'm a medic, what do you want from me.
Ruby: A diagnosis.
Doc: Well, my medical training didn't exactly cover internal combustion.
Church: What a shitty medical school.
Tucker: Yeah, where'd you go? The university of Jamaica?
Doc: Oh please, I wouldn't be caught dead on that campus.
Ruby: I literally lost my memories and I somehow have better medical knowledge than you.
Doc: Well, I went to Jamake Estate, US Jamake Estate Fighting Irish!
YOU ARE READING
Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Five
FanfictionRed Vs Blue, but with a twist! Ruby and Tex chased down Wyoming, but upon returning to Blood Gulch, they realized they had a lot to catch up on. . . Tucker has to deal with being a father, Grif has to deal with the arrival of his sister, The Reds ha...
