Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Five

Chapter 13 Terms and Provisions

Church: Well, I suppose I should figure out a way to get Tex to reboot Sheila. Man, I'm gonna have to call in a lot of favors for this one.

The Blues, along with Ruby and Doc were still figuring out the tank problem.

Tucker: What favors could you possibly have stored up for someone who dumped you?

Church: She didn't dump me Tucker, it was mutual.

Tucker: Mutual in what way? Mutual in the sense that you were both single the moment after she dumped you?

Church: Yeah. That way.

Ruby: Should I just ask her?

Church: Come on, Caboose. Let's go explain the plan to Tex. Wish us luck!

Ruby: On second thought, I wanna see how this plays out.

Tucker: Yeah right.

The Blue CO and former Blue rookie set off.

Tucker: Hey, when she kills you I'm gonna sell your armor to that pink guy on the Red team! I hear he's in the market.

Ruby: Come on Tucker, have some faith. Also, his name's Donut.

Doc: Hey, who's the yellow soldier?

Tucker: That's just Sister, she's new.

Ruby: You guys call her Sister?

Doc: No one told me about a new arrival. I'm supposed to examine everybody before they assume active duty!

Ruby: I don't like the sound of that.

Tucker: Don't sweat it, I already checked her out. Diagnosis, F-I-N-E.

Ruby: You're despicable.

Doc: Thanks, but I think a trained medical professional should be the one-

Tucker: I'm a doctor! A doctor of love! PhD, certified love-ology. General her-ass-titioner, Sexocologist.

Ruby: Neither of you are doctors, and Tucker I still doubt you've been in a relationship.

Tucker: Seriously, stop that!

Doc: First of all, love is not an officially recognized medical specialty, and also, PhD's? Heh, not really doctors!

Tucker: Dude, you're a dork.

The yellow soldier then walked over to them.

Kaikaina: Hey.

Tucker: Whats up Sis? What'd you and Tex talk about?

Kaikaina: Oh, she was just talking about everyone here. How you're all idiots and jerks, but you're all her idiots and jerks.

Ruby: Awww, I knew she cared!

Ruby pumped her fist into the air!

Kaikaina: She also said if I tried to become more popular than her, she would talk about me behind my back and turn everyone against me. And then I'll cry and everyone would hate me. . . You know, girl stuff!

Ruby lowered her fist.

Ruby: Oh, I might need to have a talk with her. . .

Tucker: Cool. Oh hey, speaking of girl stuff, right this is Doc.

Kaikaina: Hi.

Doc: Uh, hello nice to meet you. I'm the medic, if it's alright with you, I need to give you a quick physical examination since you're new. Do you want to come in the base where you might be more comfortable taking off all your clothes?