Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Five

Chapter 19 The Wrong Crowd

Sarge: And then Donut will use all our grenades to to bombard the base while we move forward in an advanced cover-fire formation.

The Reds were still within the cave and standing atop a structure while discussing their plan to take back Red Base.

Grif: Got it, and nobody hurt Sister, that's my job.

Simmons: Why does Donut get to stay on the sidelines?

Sarge: Because he's got a great arm. Heh, he coulda gone pro.

Donut: It comes from years of tossing.

Sarge: And as we discussed, in the event that we are cornered and no other options exist, Donut will make sure to save at least four grenades. One for each of you, and two for Grif.

Donut: Anyone have a preference of frag or sticky? Tell me now, I don't want any complaining later on.

Simmons: Frag. No wait, sticky.

Grif: Surprise me.

Simmons: I'm gonna change back to frag.

Donut: Hey Sarge, have you thought about calling reinforcements? Like when we called for the ship.

Grif: You mean the ship that crushed you while bringing more Blue soldiers? Yeah, maybe we shouldn't do that.

Sarge: It's worth a shot, they owe us one now.

The sergeant turned his radio on.

Sarge: Come in command, are you there? Vic? Are you there? Come in! Is this thing on?

Simmons: Does anybody hear that echo?

Sarge's voice came from a different area as well as from Sarge himself.

Donut: Yeah, we're in a cave Simmons. Caves echo, duh! That's how bats navigate.

Simmons: No, it seems likes it's coming back from the way we came.

The maroon soldier followed the sound.

Grif: Did you say bats? What bats? Were you talking about bats?

Donut: Um, just bats in general.

Grif: Don't bullshit me dude, I heard bats!

Vic then picked up.

Vic: Heyhey hey. Rojo amigo, what's going on?

Sarge: Vic, we need help! The Blues have executed a brilliant plan and it looks like we've fallen for it perfectly. No doubt they're celebrating at our very own base as speak.

*With the Blues and Ruby*

Atop the Red Base, Tex aimed her rifle at Church.

Tex: Don't. Move.

Tucker: Ooh! Busted! Kill him Tex! I got fifty-to-one odds if his next death is caused by anyone but Caboose!

Ruby: Wait, don't! Let's think about this!

*With the Reds*

Sarge: We're going to die if we don't get some help over here Vic.

Vic: Uh hey dude, it's Vic Junior. We already covered that.

Sarge: *grunts* Vic Junior, we're going to die if we don't get some help over here.

Vic: Okay dude, calm down. Take a chill pill. If you don't have a chill pill, take one of those chill strips. Put it on your tongue it dissolves, chiilll. I'll try to help, but somebody's been here monkeying with my equipment. Just give me a second and I'll- Oh no! Oh man. I gotta go bye! Try to win!

Sarge: Hello? I don't hear any hold music. Please don't transfer me to India. Hello?

Meanwhile Simmons traversed through the cave, following the echoes of the conversation. He arrived at the monitor from before.

Simmons: Hello? Hello. Who's there?

Vic: -I'll- Oh no! Oh man. I gotta go bye! Try to win!

Simmons: Who's talking down here? Hello?

Then a voice came from the monitor.

Sarge: Hello? Yes, I'm still here Vic. We need help!

Simmons: Sarge?

Sarge: Simmons? Is that you?

Simmons: Yes?

Sarge: What the- Do you work at command now? When were you promoted?

Simmons: I don't work at command, you called me here. It looks like this monitoring equipment is interfering with our radios, or something.

Sarge: Diabolical. Well get your keester back here, Red command is useless.

On Sarge's end,

Grif: Well that's a news flash.

Sarge: Shut up Grif.

Grif: Did that order come from command?

Sarge: In fact it did. And they also ordered my foot to report up your ass on the double!

Simmons watched the conversation through the monitor.

Simmons: *sighs* I can't believe my life's on the line for this fucking war.

*With the Blues and Ruby*

Church: Tex, I am not O'Malley!

Tex: Bullshit. It all makes sense now. You were the one that told Gary where we were. You were the one that wanted me to disable Sheila by moving her to the ship. And you wanted the ignition coil once I removed it.

Ruby: Tex, I know it seems bad, but this isn't like O'Malley!

Church: It's all coincidental, it doesn't make me evil! It just makes me a bad leader.

Tex: Ruby, explain before I blow off his robotic head!

Ruby: Listen, each of O'Malley's plans have been direct attempts to kills us, never anything involving deceit. Besides, O'Malley really isn't that smart, do you really think he'd be able to pull something like this off?

Tex: Oh yeah, well why would Caboose tell me it's him?

Church: You're getting information from Caboose?

Through the radio,

Caboose: Thaaaat's right.

Church: Dude, I'll tell you what. If you get me killed again, I gotta tell ya, this time I'm gonna be a little pissed.

Caboose: Sheila told me that O'Malley might be inside Blue leader.

Tex: And that's you.

Church: Sheila's crazy, remember? Besides, I was never officially promoted to Blue leader anyway. That's. . . Oh no.

*With the Cave Team*

Doc: So that's how you got here Lopez? What a strange, yet totally believable story.

Right behind Kaikaina, Doc, and Junior was a green alien and a blue armored soldier. . . .

Lopez: (Spanish) Who's that guy?

Sister turned to see them.

Flowers: Hi there, I don't think we've met. I'm Captain Butch Flowers, and this is my friend.

Kaikaina: Hi, nice to meet you! Hey wait, wasn't I sent here to replace you?

Junior peaked around a rock.

Junior: Honk?

Flowers/O'Malley: Hey there little guy, I've been waiting a very, very long time to meet you. Muhuhuhuhu, muhohohoho, muhahahahahaaaa!