One-shot Compilations

Fast

He's really into me. That's what I figured when I talked to him. I could see the way he looked at me when I laugh at his silly jokes and pickup lines. How he always makes me laugh whenever I feel sad. The way he treats me like a princess. The way he told me how strongly he felt about me.  The way he always reminded me how he saw me the first time way back when he was in high school even though I don't remember at all. How I hear the pain in his voice when I was honest with him.

How can someone fall in love this fast? How sure is he that this is love? They say I could never really tell a guy's true colors in the courtship period because guys tends to be always on their best foot forward. The only way you can figure out who they really are is through a relationship. That's what Tatay said, one of my father figure in this quarantine facility, but it's too fast for me.

Even if I want to jump into a relationship, it's difficult for me. I don't think he's a bad guy. He's willing to compromise and come to me, but I want to take it slowly. I think we should get to know each other better. I know this is so unlike me, but this is what I want. 

They said the guy should be more in love in a relationship. I think my relationships and situationships have failed because I was more invested than the other person. If so, how come I feel like I'm lying to myself. You see, I'm the kind of person who appreciates honesty so much, even though it hurts. I don't like lying to myself even though I do white lies to protect the other person's feelings. I want him to be direct with me. I want to establish a relationship with the right and healthy boundaries. I want him to listen to my honesty, but I guess that honesty is not for everyone. He was hurt and it was evident on his face. I feel bad for hurting a nice guy like him. He likes me a lot.

What am I supposed to do? Should I just say yes? Would I be eventually attracted to him? I know he could be a great boyfriend. What about me? Why am I not that excited when he's around? I'm not feeling that pounding heartbeat. Am I numb? Why can't I lie to him? Why can't I lie to myself? Why am I writing this while looking at the clouds in the sky? I'm going crazy.

He was hurt. I was hurt. We are both broken with a pure heart, but have been shattered. His frequency is different than mine.  Here I am trying to tune my radio into the right one so we can meet halfway.

We are very different. He's very possessive. Although, he can't restrict me from doing things for now, but I could see him as early as now as a possessive one. He gets jealous so fast. Every time I talk about my guy friends, he's always upset and jealous. Why? It's not like I'm telling him I'm kissing my guy friends. I'm telling him about my best friend for goodness sake! I'm okay with being jealous. I think healthy jealousy is cute and sweet. I'm a little possessive, too, but if it's me, I would have to observe first if there is indeed something to be jealous about before saying something about it. He wants a submissive girlfriend. I am submissive, but I have limits. You can't stop me from going out. I won't restrict you either. We have to take break away from each other too occasionally.

He's not into girls who drinks, but he likes me. I drink, a lot. He thinks women who drink are easy and prone to be taken advantage of. I want to laugh at him. My feminism is triggered. I hate the victim blaming ideology. He doesn't want me to dress the way I am. I dress sexily, I know that. He wants a submissive housewife material, I am not that. I am an independent working woman who can't stay at home and do mundane tasks because I will go crazy. He's trying to change my ways instead of accepting me. He's very clingy, well, I like clingy, but I also want to have my alone time to recuperate my energy. I'm very liberated, he's a traditionalist. I don't know. I already see things like this. Tell me. Is my standard that high or am I just not feeling  him?

He's already so invested in me. Is this cheating? I am no saint, you know. He's not the only one I am talking with right now, but I got three more guys. I know I have choices. That's a lot of choices, but he's on the first place. Why do I feel like despite this attention I'd rather be single? Despite that sentiment, I will choose him. I just prayed to God that he could wait for me until our 7th date. He just needs to be patient with me. If he could wait until then, I promise to be faithful and invested.