One-shot Compilations

Ex

I feel at peace, habang pinagmamasdan ang mga alon sa dagat. It was a bright day. The sun is still high above in the sky kahit alas-singko na ng hapon. Tinatangay ng hangin ang buhok ko. The ship I'm boarding swayed a little, but it doesn't bother me. I like the feeling. Yung tipong parang dinuduyan ako. Nakatingin lang ako sa malayo, sa walang katapusang karagatan, pero agad nawala ang kapanatagang nararamdaman ko ng may mahagip ang paningin ko. Para akong naestatwa sa kinatatayuan.

His skin still looked pale. Para sa isang taga-probinsya masyado siyang maputi. His body was still the same the last time I saw him. It's funny how he wore a shiny earring to his left ear, like the first time I saw him at school. He seems to be doing great.

His hair was combed backwards. I still remember how long it takes for him to perfect his hair every time we go out. Guluhin ko na lahat 'wag lang yung buhok niya. I smiled at the thought.

Here, a few meters away, was my ex. Katulad ko nakahawak ito sa railings ng barko. Malayo ang tingin nito, na tila ba may malalim na iniisip. How could he be here? Small world, isn't it?

Aalis na sana ako papasok sa loob ng mapalingon siya sa akin.
Oh shit! I thought.

"Ella?" he called. Napangiwi ako ng palihim sa kaniya, pero agad rin namang lumingon.

"Chris?" tawag ko sa kaniya. I tried my best to make my voice sound happy. Well, don't get me wrong, I'm over it now. That's the truth. We broke up two years ago. Although, sometimes natitrigger pa rin naman ako kapag naaalala ko kung paano kami naghiwalay, but that's just it.

"Ella? Ikaw nga!" He seems really pleased to see me. On the other hand, I feel so awkward.

"Oo nga eh," I tried to smile. Nakita ko siyang nakatitig sa akin na para bang sinasaulo niya ang mukha ko. I awkwardly raised my eyebrows at him. "Bakit?"

"Wala lang. God, I can't believe I saw you here. You look... different," sabi niya sa akin. I chuckled.

"Uh, dahil sa glasses lang siguro," sabi ko sa kaniya regarding to the eyeglasses that I wear.

"No, really you're blooming," sabi nito sa akin. I almost rolled my eyes with what I heard, pero siyempre hindi ko ginawa sa harap niya.

"Thanks!" I said with contempt, and then the awkwardness began. Gusto ko nang umalis. I don't know how to feel when I saw him. Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko. Hmm... Hindi naman ako galit. Hindi rin naman masaya. Wala lang talaga akong nararamdaman kahit na ano sa kaniya. It's funny how I cried for this man years ago and thought I could never get over him.

"Kumusta?" basag niya sa katahimikan.

"Okay lang naman. I finally found a job in Bacolod. Ikaw? How are you? Kailan ang kasal? You look good," I asked him as casually as I could.

He gave me a smile, but not the happy smile that I know. Sa anim na taon naming magkasintahan, I know every detail about him. I know how he feels just by observing his expression. Siguro, ganito lang talaga kahit nagbreak na kayo. Kahit na hindi kayo magkita ng ilang taon, in some ways, your ex is still familliar for you. He will always be a part of me.

"Okay lang. Kasal? Wala," sabi niya sa akin bago tumingin sa karagatan. Malalim ang iniisip.

"Huh? Bakit naman? Going strong kayo diba?" tanong ko sa kaniya regarding about his girlfriend na ipinalit niya sa akin, dahilan kung bakit kami naghiwalay.

"We parted ways," mahinang sabi niya.

"Oh! Sorry," sabi ko sa kaniya pero in my head I was smiling evilly. Karma is a bitch, I thought. He laughed, kahit wala namang nakakatawa.

"No, it's okay," sabi niya sa akin. I could feel the awkwardness again. Natahimik na naman kaming dalawa. I badly wanted to go, pero hindi ko naman alam ang sasabihin o idadahilan ko.

I just think that talking like we ended up in a good note was really not that necessary at all. I would rather us not talking, but I know how he is. He's the type of guy who wants to stay friends with his ex-girlfriends, but not me. Ang awkward kaya. Narinig ko siyang tumikhim kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya.

"Ella, I know you probably moved on, but I wanted apologize," sabi niya sa akin. "I know what I did. I'm sorry."

"You chose to cheat, Chris," sabi ko. Tangina mo rin, I thought. Gusto ko mang idagdag pero hindi ko ginawa dahil siyempre mabait ako.

"I know and I'm sorry," sabi niya sa akin. Yumuko pa ito. He seemed really sorry, pero hindi na ako naniniwala sa mga sinasabi niya. That look on his face right now like he's really sorry and won't do it again, is a biggest scam. Akala niya ba hindi ako matututo sa lahat ng panloloko niya. He's a pathological liar. A cheating bastard.

"There is no need for an apology sa mga bagay na choice mo naman. Sorry is only acceptable if you did something na hindi mo naman ine-expect na may masamang mangyayari. Apology is only for things you did na hindi mo pinag-isipan. Cheating is not one of them," nakairap na sabi ko sa kaniya. He suddenly smile. I can sense that he's amuse about something.

"You're still savage, huh?" sabi nito sa akin at umiling. "You're always like this with people you don't care about. So, I must be on that list now."

Hindi ako nagsalita kasi totoo naman ang sinabi niya. If I don't care about someone anymore, hindi na ako takot na ma-offend ito sa sasabihin ko.

"So?"

"I just-- I just wanted to explain my side kahit huli na. I know, Elle. I know that saying sorry can't undo the things I've done, but I just wanted tell you that it was all my fault. Naging marupok ako. She was there when I missed you so much. She offered herself. She gave me something that I missed because we were apart from each other."

"Yeah, sex," I said bitterly. "This also includes us having the same initials on our name, Chris! Don't you have any shame? Binaliktad niyo lang rin ang endearment nating dalawa. You know what upsets me? Your fucking anniversary was just two days after ours. Wow! Ang galing!Lastly, we are both chubby at morena. Mas lamang lang naman siya ng isang paligo sa katawan because she has bigger ass and boobs, pero tangina mo! Mas maganda naman ako dun ng mahigit isang daang paligo, Chris!"

"I know! I know!" sabi niya sa akin. "You were better than she was. You cared for me. You weren't toxic, but with her... I can't stand her. She's loud. She nags all the time, but with you, I always laugh. You always makes me laugh, no matter how sad or angry I am. You know my weaknesses. I realized that you were a lot better than her."

I scoffed at what he said.

"So, what's this? Tapos mo nang tikman, but then you realized hindi mo naman pala gusto ang lasa, iluluwa mo na lang tapos babalik ka naman sa unang ulam. Is that it? Chris, you're still a douchebag! You chose her, asshole. Now deal with it. Sinayang mo ang anim na taon natin para sa kaniya. You should do everything in your power to take care of her! You should try and make it work! You got me at a certain point, Chris. You had me for six years! Anim na taon na sinira lang ng limang buwan! So, don't---don't put me back under your sleeves dahil hindi na ako kasing tanga ngayon. Tangina mong gago ka! Diyan ka na nga!"

Yes, I left him there. Nakakagago lang. How can he do this to me? Sa tingin niya ba, dahil sa sinabi niya mabubura noon lahat ng nagawa niya. Fuck him then!