(CONTAINS SMUT BOTH F/M and F/F) ❗️18+❗️
~~~
The world was cruel. No surprise there. Children realise this later in life, but you never had that privilege.
Being a freak in the circus along other exploited characters caused for that to hardly be a s...
The group didn't see you for days. They weren't even sure if you were eating, let alone alive. Only the sudden music every day at 10AM like clockwork giving them a daily notice that you were still kicking. Peter had tried to lure you out with a little talking, Natasha put food outside your door but stopped after day 2 when it was never touched.
Little did they know, you had gotten into Stark's security system and figured out the team's schedule to which you found the perfect moments to sneak out for food. Loki was the only to notice your plan.
He had caught you on day 4 of your self-isolation. You didn't see him but to be fair he was hiding from Thor's angry shouts for dying his hair purple. Loki watched as you grabbed food and put an illusion up to seem as though it was there, slowly bits fading out as if someone was eating it.
As to not get you caught Loki took the blame, even if Natasha had nearly buzzed his hair off for her Russian jelly being eaten by 'him'. He was thrown out the window by Hulk when Banner saw his dried Banana chips were missing and Clint lit one of Loki's quills on fire when his sunflower seeds were gone.
But when Thor ripped his book in half when his aged meat was gone, Loki stormed off and knocked rapidly on your door. "What?!" You open the door only for him to push it open further and march in.
"You need to stop being such a petty human! Talk to the team, resolve this mess, I am sick of taking the blame for your snacking habits!"
"Petty human?? I may be human but I am far from petty, and as for taking the blame, when on god's hellish earth did I ask for you to do that?!" you shove him back, inevitably shutting the door, his back slamming against the wood.
"I did you a favour!"
"One which I didn't ask for! If they find their damn food missing, they can come to me if they have a problem!" Your breathing was heavy, hair changing into a dark red. "I'm so sick and tired of people pitying me and thinking I need their fucking help! I don't! I'm old enough to fend for myself and deal with pissed off people, I won't fucking cry because they raised their voices at me, I won't whine like a fucking baby and I sure as hell won't ask for forgiveness because I did what was good for me!"
"Watch your volume, I am a god, you quim!"
"I worship no gods, and I sure as hell won't listen to an emo bratty bitch," you spit out, Loki curling his fists before tugging the door open and slamming it behind him. "Stupid asshole," you stand on the silks and lean back.
~~~
Miss Romanoff, what a surprise it was to see her in your room, or rather outside it. Shifting into a small bug you crawl under the door, changing back and opening the door once she knocked.
"What?"
"Did you want to talk-?"
"No," the door was nearly fully shut on her face only for her foot to stop it. "This means bye, or do you want me to make it clear? Прощание," (Farewell)
"You know Russian,"
"Нет, я знаю только, как попрощаться," (No, I only know how to say farewell)
(The next bits will be in Russian but I'm too lazy to translate lmfao)
"Speak to me like this then,"
You scoff. "Why should I?"
"Because the others are too stupid to understand... except Barnes, but he is out on a run," Nat smiles softly, hopeful to get you to open up.
"There's nothing to say, I just want to serve my time here and get out once the pirate realizes I'm not what I used to be," Nat walked in when you let her, the duvet sinking under her.
"I've read your file, I'm sorry but you can't blame him, your practically a serial killer," Nat saw the sudden fall of your face, one that was subtle but still not undetectable. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine... You're not wrong, but I have to ask," Nat nodded for you to continue, "did the file say why?"
"Why? No, I don't think so,"
"Typical," you laugh with spite. "People- Authoritative figures hate to find the real reason, what I had done is usually ruled off as insanity, money, jealousy,"
"Then what was it," she watched as you leaned against the wall, avoiding eye contact.
"Survival... That's just it, isn't it? We do this to survive, save, kill, fight, flight, it's all to survive... It's the basis of human instinct, Id, Ego and Superego... I just tend to listen to my Id,"
"Would you consider therapy? To deal with this?"
"Therapy? You take me for a child, don't you?" you kick off the wall and walk to the window. "Did Peter tell you? Or was it that greasy snake who calls himself a god?"
"What would they have told me? What have you told them?"
"Nothing worth while, but seeing by the look on your face, what they've let slip has already formed a theory in your pretty little head, Miss Romanoff,"
She stood up and walked to the silks, curling the fabric in her fist. "Can't blame me... bad childhood, freakshow act, criminal. In a way I relate to two of those three,"
"You?"
"Me," she confirms, laughing slightly and standing by you. "I grew up in a place called the Red Room, I was trained to be the best of the best from a young age, no place to play or laugh, only fight and dance, study and grow into a beautiful, powerful, dangerous machine,"
"And that you have... but how did you end up here?"
"Barton, I owe him my life, he helped me wipe my ledger in a sense and now? I want to help you wipe yours,"
~~~
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I'm currently writing this after having a breakdown during lunch, and now I'm staying in the health centre :)
