'The Devil'...A Baby? / Eva Cudmore

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I was laying with Eva on my bed, cuddling. I was playing with her hair, she was humming some song from tik tok when we heard crying. We looked at each other at the same time.

"You hear it too?" she asked and I nodded.

It's rather loud crying....baby crying? More like a fucking roaring.

No. way.

"I'm gonna see who's that" She said and get out of the bed.

"Okay, I'll be here" I said
and lay my head back on the pillow.

"No, come on" She took my hand and dragged me out of my room. We walked downstairs to see Anna, Karina and Katie all trying to calm down a little girl.

"Oh my god, why is this so fucking loud and what is this doing here?" I asked and she stopped screaming, instead she was just looking at me.

"It's my goddaughter" Anna said.

"Hi" The little girl said and came up to me "I'm Emily, but I go by Emi"

"Yeah, I don't care. How old is she, and why was she screaming?" I asked and went to the kitchen, I grabbed a red bull and sit on the couch in the living room. The little girl sit beside me so I scoot away from her.

I hate the motherfucker already.

"She's 5 and...why was she screaming?" Anna asked Karina.

"Don't ask me, I don't know" She said and looked at Katie.

"How would I know?"

"Oh so you tried to calm a devil, not even knowing why was it crying?" I said and they nodded. Emily or whatever her name is jumped on my lap making me spill my drink. "What the fuck is wrong with you" I said and pushed her off of me.

"Y/n! Language! She's 5" Katie yelled and smacked my head.

"I don't care! She spilled my red bull"

"You should be nicer to her Y/n, she's just a child" Karina said.

"She wasn't nice when she interrupted my cuddle session with my girlfriend"

"But you're a girl" the devil said.

"What about it?"

"Girls can't be with girls, you need to be with a boy"

"Boys are gross and girls are pretty, I'd rather be with Eva"

"Who's Eva?"

"My girlfriend dumbass"

"Y/n!" I got smacked in the back of my head again.

"Uh" I crashed the can and throw it to the trash. "I'm going upstairs, don't bother me"

I run upstairs, I lay on my bed and not even ten minutes later the devil barged in. I groaned.

"What do you want from me?"

"Aunt Anna, her friends and your girlfriend left and said you'll be taking care of me" she said and jumped on my bed. I groaned again

"Oh my god, please take me to the hell"

"Why do you want to go to hell, isn't heaven a better place?" she asked and took my teddy bear.

"Are you alway asking annoying questions? Leave it" I said and grabbed my stuffed animal. "Go chop your fingers off or something. Be quiet"

"Why are you so mean?"

"I don't like you?" I said. "I don't like people in particular"

"What about auntie Anna or your girlfriend?"

"Your aunt boon is my best friend, she sometimes keeps me sane and she puts a smile on my face when I'm down. That's why I love her so much"

"Why are you with Eva if you love my auntie?"

"Because there are two kinds of love. One, when you love someone as a friend. It's called platonic love I think. And there's another one called romantic love. That's what I feel towards Eva"

"Romantic love?"

"Yes, it's when all you do is just think about them. Want to follow them like a lost puppy. I would explain it to you further but you're just a child" I said "I don't know why I'm telling you this in a first place"

"So I'd be smarter"

"You're not gonna get any smarter, I'm telling you that"

The silence took over.

"So what can I do?" Emily asked.

"Lay on the floor and count to 1000"

"Uh I can't"

"Oh yeah, right. Then count to six and repeat"

.
.
.

After an hour, Emily started making some weird noises, asking annoying questions again and pacing around the room.

"Do you want to watch SpongeBob?" I asked and she stopped. She looked at as If to search if I'm joking and then nodded her head.

Ugh, I'll do everything to make her stop.

We went to movie room and I put the cartoon on.

"Why is Squidward like that all the time?" She asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Because his life sucks. Now be quiet"

What's shocking is that she's actually listening to my commands.

"Are you hungry?" I asked after our 5th episode. She just nodded. "You are not wearing diaper, aren't you?"

"I'm 5 not 1"

"Right, so what do you wanna eat?"

"Ice cream" She said and started jumping.

"No not ice cream" I saw her open her mouth "And don't even think about screaming, cause if you do I'm gonna chop your head off" I said with a serious face and she closed it. "Are you good with pasta?"

"Mhm"

"Come on" I picked her up "Oh my fucking god, you're so heavy"

"No, you're just weak"

"Woah, I'm getting roasted by a five year old, nice" I put her on the counter in the kitchen and start making pasta.

Where the fuck did they go that it's taking them so long? All I know is that I'm gonna throw hands when they come back.

"Here eat" I put the plate on the table and sit her in the chair.

"Do you know how to make-"

"Please just shut up, can you?" she nodded and started eating. After we ate I put the dishes in the sink and walk to the couch. We sit on together and I started watching tik tok and turn on the TV for the devil. She was mostly quiet but asked annoying question from time to time.

After an hour or so the girls came back. All with dumb smiles.

"Where have you been you dipshits?" I asked and slapped them all on the arm.

"We went out"

"And you left me with this" I said and pointed at Emily.

"C'mon it wasn't that bad, was it?"

"It wasn't that bad? She annoyed me so much, to the point where I wanted to stick a knife in my ear or tie her to the fence on the outside"

"Woah you really don't like kids" Karina stated and I nodded. I saw Eva's sad expression

"I hate kids with all my heart. The only one I'll ever love, will be mine and Eva's"

"But you can't have kids together" Emily said and started asking questions again.

"Kill me" I said and they started laughing.

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