[[ fourteen ]]

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i woke up with another pounding headache, but this time just from exhaustion. i could still feel hawk's arms around me and i checked my phone and saw that thankfully it had only been about 30 minutes. my eyes were burning from crying so much and it stung a lot. i nudged hawk awake, then stepped out of my bed and looked at him.

"come on we have to go back down," i said awkwardly, realizing that i had just fallen asleep in the boy who i hated's arms. or i guess maybe i didn't hate him now. i liked eli and i knew that's who i had been seeing this passed night, but i knew it wouldn't stay forever. he'd go back to being the same old hawk. picking on me, hooking up with random girls, throwing kids around for sport, beating up my friends, and i'd just go back to being davina campbell stuck in the middle of cobra kai and miyagi-do trying to keep the peace as best as i could.

hawk stood up walking towards my door, but then spoke up before he opened it.

"why were you crying over him?"

"excuse me?"

"you heard me, i wanna know," hawk said standing up and looking down on me because of our height difference. "he seems like an ass."

"hawk you're one to talk. what was this even about? you comfort me, but then right when i stop crying you're grilling me about someone you don't even know? you're so damn confusing."

"nevermind just forget it, let's go," he said and opened the door for both of us to walk out. i followed him out and we were greeted by liam, blair, jj, and my parents all watching gilmore girls.

"you two ok?" my mom said with a slightly concerned look on her face as we entered the family room and sat down on the couches with them.

"yeah just had to talk about a school thing," i shrugged and could tell hawk was super uncomfortable, but didn't know if he should stay or leave. i looked up at the tv and laughed at all the funny antics and stupid remarks the characters made to each other.

"davie it's your favorite episode, the one where the grungy kid and annoying girl have their first kiss," jj said, clearly not pleased with my opinions on this show.

"jess mariano is one of the best tv show characters in history and no one can argue against me on that. do not just call him the grungy kid again, unless you wanna get slapped," i snapped back and jj raised his hands in surrender. (a/n: if you watch gilmore girls and you're not team jess, don't talk to me).

we continued to watch the show for at least two hours and hawk had left a little while ago after getting a call from his mom that she needed his help with something. eventually i went up to my room after a chill rest of the day. i laughed a little thinking about the day and remembering the funny looks my mom gave liam since he was never able to find his pants.

i layed in my bed and scrolled on my phone for an hour, maybe two. i lost track of time while trying not to think about lucas or hawk or any guy in existence for that matter. blair and liam were staying in two of our guest rooms upstairs and i debated going to talk with blair for a little while cause she always had the best advice, but i didn't want to bother her so late after they had already gotten settled in.

lucas hadn't tried to contact me since he left which made me a little sad, but i knew it was probably for the best. as much as i missed him, being in hawk's arms took every ounce of pain in me away. i didn't know why or how, but the second he let go i wanted him again. i wanted to lay in his arms forever no matter how wrong it was. lucas might have broken me, but hawk did everything in his power to put me back together and i owed him so much for it. i wanted to call and tell him to just come back because i needed him here with me, but i knew that could never happen. even though we were both from cobra kai it felt like we were fighting our own war against each other most of the time and no matter how good our moments got they always ended in drama and pain.

he had been so good to me last night and today yet we STILL found a way to screw it up in the end. one second he seemed to care, his eyes had a new light to them and he looked vulnerable and sweet, but then it could just change with the flip of a switch.

hawk and eli were two completely different people and although i had never known eli i could see how afraid and broken he was. he was hiding behind a persona to protect himself and he would hurt anyone in his path to make sure he never had to go back to the person he once was. everything he went through turned him into someone almost unrecognizable. demetri had shown me pictures of him and eli from years past and i barely even believed that it was him.

he had short light brown hair and a soft infectious smile that could make anyone happy. his eyes had a hint of sadness and fear to them, but there was also a gentle glow. demetri had mentioned how he never really talked much, he only spoke to him or if someone started a conversation and i wished deeply that i had gotten to know him back then.

i took out my phone and stared at the dry text trail the two of us had. we never really talked except when we were stuck alone together which honestly happened somewhat frequently. i always felt like i was good at reading people, but with him it was almost impossible.

i turned my phone off, then my light and stared into the darkness with only my thoughts. there was something about this boy that i was drawn to. no matter how dark he got i wanted to be a part of his life. i wanted to know more and more until there was nothing left to tell.

all i wanted to do was sleep, but the same thing just kept repeating in my brain over and over again.

you're gonna be the death of me, moskowtiz.

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