All I Ever Wanted (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 24

I just want to warn sensitive readers that this chapter is quite sad.

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Chapter 24

I wasn't sure how long I stood there until I finally managed to exit the house and drive away, back home to my own place. I was stuck in a trance throughout the entire ride, barely knowing where I was going or what was happening around me. The only thing playing on my retina was Harry's pained expression when he told me those words.

"I never cheated on you, Louis."

Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head to try getting the image out of my head. Out of everything he could have told me, I never expected it to be those words. It was as if he had punched them into my head, and now they couldn't get out.

It took a while, but eventually, the idea and possibility that what he said was true slowly started processing in my head.

If he never cheated on me, I was the only one at fault for our breakup because that meant I was the only one who had done something to sabotage our relationship. If he never cheated on me, he had must have been hurting more than I could imagine these last few years, and that fact made my heart hurt to the point where I wanted to close in on myself and cry. If he never cheated on me, it would also explain why he was so mad at me when we first met and why he looked at me as if I had just punched him in the face when I accused him of it in Ibiza.

The question was, why would he tell me that he cheated on me in the first place? Why would he make me think that he had been with someone else when he hadn't? Did he do it to hurt me? Make me believe that me giving up on us was okay for him because he didn't love me anymore anyway?

Now I understood what Liam meant when he said that Harry and I should talk about what happened between us. There were so many questions that I needed an answer to, the correct answer to. I had been sure I knew everything I needed to know when I had told Liam I didn't want to talk about my and Harry's breakup, but now I knew I was wrong. Was there even something I did know except for my part?

It had started raining now, which didn't make it easier to see the streets. Luckily, though, I managed to make it home without getting into a car crash or anything of the sort. I walked into the house, only then realizing that I had forgotten my sweatshirt at Harry's place since my arms were bare and I was wet from the rain. I was probably cold too, but I was too numb to feel anything.

Therefore, the thought of taking a shower didn't cross my mind. Instead, I walked up to my bedroom with Clifford following me and got under the covers of my bed without undressing. It didn't take more than a few minutes until everything went black, darkness taking over my mind completely.

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After eating breakfast the following morning, the first thing I did was to call Lottie. I hadn't talked to her in a while, but I felt as though I would get the best advice from her. Liam wasn't bad at giving advice either, but this was something so personal that I wanted to talk to her about it.

Besides, I wanted my family to know what happened between me and Harry before anyone else did. I never thought I would have to explain it to them, but now that things had turned out the way they did, I couldn't push it under the bed and not speak about it any longer. If there was any time to explain what happened, it was now.

After taking care of Clifford, I sat down at the kitchen table, running a hand through my brown fringe as I scrolled through my contacts to find Lottie's name. I had forced myself not to think about what Harry told me yesterday since I woke up, but it was impossible not to now that I wasn't occupied doing anything specific.