Wresting from Danger

35

Me and Bucky both get ready when we're done eating so we look presentable for Steve. We decided not to tell anyone about our thing, at least for now. It's just easier this way.

I hear and knock at the door and I rush to open it, "Hey Steve!"

"Hey!" I step out of the way so he can come in. "Wheres Bucky?"

"Oh he's in the bathroom right now. Do you want some water or something?"

"Sure." He follows me and it's down at the counter as I reach up for a glass just as Bucky walks out. I look over and see him walking toward Steve.

"Hey Buck," Steve says reaching over so they can do their bro hug.

"Hey how ya doing?"

He seems pretty comfortable around Steve, why did he react the way he did?

All 3 of us visit for a bit before Steve mentions Bucky coming over to talk, "So did you tell her about it yet?"

His face goes dark and he looks down a little bit, just enough to make it clear he's avoiding eye contact t with me. "No, I didn't."

I know what he is talking about but for Bucky's sake, I act clueless, "Tell me about what?"

"You didn't tell her yet? I thought you said you were going to." He says turning his head to Bucky and talking very quietly.

"I just didn't get to it yet that's all... I was hoping I could join the team." He looks down even more to his lap like he's ashamed. Like he wasn't ready to tell me.

I've put a lot of thought into it actually. Right now I'm definitely not okay with it. Blake is coming, it is not safe for Bucky to be going on missions. Even if Blake wasn't coming or after everything blows over, I still don't know how good I would feel about it. Who knows how trigging it could be for him. A lot of our mission have been HYDRA related, how would that affect him? What if they took him again, it may be really difficult but it's not impossible.

"You mean the Avengers?" Again, acting dumb for his sake.

"Yea. I just think it would really help me knowing I'm doing some good, making efforts to try to repair the damage I've caused in the past."

Steve looks at him and pats him on the shoulder while giving him a small sad smile.

While that's a good point, I think the bad outweighs the good in the situation. I just don't know if I can risk it, especially now.

I look down at the floor, "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Both of them shoot their heads towards me in shock, "What why?" Steve blurts out. "I think it would be good for me Morgan.

Just the thought of Blake taking Bucky puts tears in my eyes but I do my best to hold them back, "I said no okay? My answer is no."

"Just give him a shot Morgan! He would be very valuable to the team!"

"And if things don't go good I can always find something to do around here."

I just walk away while saying, "No," under my breath. I go in my room and shut my door and look at advanced security systems for the facility and my apartment.

I hear muttering on the other side of the door. Part of me wants to listen and try to see what they say but I put my headphones in instead and try to drown out of anger and worry that is racing through my mind.

Anger for Blake and everything he's doing, and worry for the team, for Bucky. All of this is on me. If I cant handle it... if I play my cards wrong on Thursday, I don't know what I'll do.

I order a bunch of cameras and alarms and traps for the facility and my apartment with same day delivery. I am gonna need time to set all of this up, I shouldn't have waited so long to get it.

I hear a knock at my door but I ignore it. Bucky opens the door anyway and I slam my computer shut so he can't see what I'm doing.

He chooses to ignore it, "I'm so sorry about that Morgan. I didn't know Steve would bring it up."

I look down at my lap trying to keep everything in, "It's okay."

"But I do think he's right. I would bring a lot to the team, I still want to do it."

"Buck I told you no."

"Why?"

What do I say? Do I tell him? Now's my chance. I look into his bright blue eyes then down at his lips, the lips I'll probably never get to kiss again after this, "Because I don't want you going out there. It's not safe, you're not ready." I'm immediately look back down at my lap.

"I can go through training if it would make you feel better. And if I'm being honest I don't think this is your decision to make for me."

He's right, it's not. But I'm the one signing the papers. "It's not safe for you out there Bucky just take my word for it okay?"

"I've seen and lived through far more than you have I think I know when something is or isn't safe and how to handle it."

I know I never told him about me being on the team but that really pisses me off. He has no idea what I've lived through, what I've done what I've seen. He does not get to say that.

"I'd watch what your saying." I say will tear filled eyes. My voice cracks a bit but he either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

"I'm just saying. How could you know anyway? You've never seen any action up close. You haven't had to go through what I did." He's right I didn't. "You have no idea what it's like for me. I just want to do something good, catch the guys who did this to me."

"Just drop it," I try to get up and walk out but he grabs my arm very tightly, I can feel the anger rushing through him but he's trying his best to contain it.

"Why won't you just let me do this?!" I flinch at him yelling thinking about Blake, but he doesn't care. I don't say anything back. If I do, I'll break down. I don't need pity from him.

"I can't believe I told you everything thinking you would understand." He throws my arm down, "Rotting in my cell would be better than this."

"You don't mean that," I say looking up at him. I'm full on crying now.

"I just thought you would get it but you don't. You don't know anything."

I run back to my room to grab a sweatshirt. He just watches me. I speed walk past him again to grab the car keys and my wallet, "What are you doing?" He throws his hands up in defeat.

I whip my head around but I don't say anything and just open the door forcefully, "I'm sorry okay?"

I step out and shut it as hard as I can as he says, "Come back we ca-"

I run out of the facility hearing some call my name. I don't know who it is and I don't care either. I go to my car, lock the doors, and drive away as fast as I can.

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I KNOW THAT NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE READING THIS BUT THATS OKAY LOL BUT I WAS THINKING ABOUT MAKING A BOOK 2 JUST CUZ WHY NOT BUT I WANTED TO HEAR FROM YOU, SHOULD IT BE FROM BUCKYS POV OR MORGANS? ILL ASK AGAIN AT THE END OF THE BOOK CUZ THAT MIGHT AFFECT UR ANSWER.