Dear Diary|| Loki x Fem!Reader.|| Slow Updates

4.Nightmares

Songs:

-Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

-Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

-Burning Pile by Mother Mother

-As The World Caves in by Matt Maltese

-Why Do You Only Call Me When You Are High by Arctic Monkeys

-Train Wreck by James Arthur

TW: sensitive topics as torture and an allusion to non-consensual sex. I do NOT endorse those behaviours.

You opened your eyes, a bright light flashed in front of you. A metal clatter echoing in the back. You tried to move, to free your hands that were clasped to the stiff table. You were able to lift your head slightly, noticing you weren't wearing any clothing, and few shapeless people were talking. Power, Afraid, Fire, Energy, Take, Attempt, Science. Those were the only words you could capture in the distance. Everything felt numb, every sound felt muffled. You heard a loud thud, like a thunder, something sharp touching your skin, then everything went black as a piecing pain hit your body.

You opened your eyes again, the bright light planted above your head made looking around barely possible. You felt a pair of cold hands run through your body, you tried to shake them off in any way, but your body was still held by something, making it impossible to free yourself. You tried to yell as the amorphous figure touched around your body. You don't understand what precisely, you were completely numb, but you felt like everything was wrong. The indefinite grunts and moans of the indistinct figure reverberate in your head. The only thing you could notice were those two black eyes staring at you deeply as the figure did whatever they wanted to you helpless and terrified. The pain, those eyes, those howls, the tears forming in your eyes, then everything went black again.

As your eyes opened one last time, you found yourself in your bed, the moonlight hitting your pillow, and your blankets hugging your body, you couldn't help but start sobbing. It was quite normal for you to have this kind of nightmares, those were some the fewest memories you brain was able to preserve of your whole 23 years of life.

Torture and violation, and they would come back, every now and then. They would disappear for weeks, and reappear when you least expected it.

Bruce and Tony were already trying everything in their hands to help you out recovering more of your past, but currently with close to no success. Your heart was aching as the tears kept running over your cheeks, your body shaking and your memories hunting you.

You let out one last sob and cleaned your eyes as you decided you wanted to distract yourself.

The feeling of the soft autumn breeze hitting your bare skin, reminded you that before stepping out of the room you had to wear clothes. So you glanced at the reflection on the mirror, staring at your hands and arms, both sides had this long scar running on the back of your fingers, from your nails to your shoulders, then over the collarbone, ending connected to a bigger one on your chest, in between your breasts. Even though you were used to see it daily, whenever you would look at it after a nightmare, it would scare you. Wondering why somebody had to do this to you.

After a few moments mesmerized by your own figure, you snapped back to reality and wore your pajamas.

You wandered through the white hallways, looking at the pictures hang on the wall. Some where pictures of Pepper and Tony, there was few pictures of the whole group during a party after a successful mission, there were several single pictures of us scattered over the walls. Some pictures from various life events of everyone.