Dear Diary|| Loki x Fem!Reader.|| Slow Updates

29.Helpless

Song:

-Jocelyn Flores by XXXTENTACION

-Crying Alone by Jurrivh

-Agoraphobia by CORPSE HUSBAND

-Fix You by Coldplay

The silence in the quinjet was deafening, pounding in your head as the images of the past 15 hours were rapidly flashing in front of your eyes. 

That child's missing eyes were plastered into your brain, it was like a new nightmare you never expected to live. You felt helpless seeing him in that room, God knows what he went through.

You fucked up. Really bad. And never in the history of the avengers there was this much silence.

You were still shaking, trying to catch your breath as you laid on the floor. 

Everyone was resting as the only people awake were you, Tony that was walking back and forth biting his nails and Loki that was sat in the vicinity staring at the shit show.

At the umpteenth frustrated groan Tony made, you couldn't help but apologize again.

"I'm sorry" your voice was shaky just like your body, barely able to collect your thoughts.

"You are sorry?" His voice utterly hinder, while his face turned completely red, the vein on his forehead popped as he pointed a finger towards you "You understand how dangerous that was?"

"I-" you muttered before deciding to stay silent looking for the right words, which he interpreted as 'I can talk again'. You could feel the lecture coming right up.

"Everyone was at risk." He took a short pause while you gave him an apologetic glance. "You were lucky Loki stopped. And Luckier that Steve was nearby." his voice was severe as he started twisting the ring on his finger.

"I'm sorry." you murmured unable to lift your eyes towards him as you started chewing on your hangnail.

"You literally took off the receiver, running towards an empty room. For what? Because you saw a child." He threw his harms up as he pressed his lips together.

"What was I supposed to do?" you whisper-yelled as you could feel the tension building up in your body as well.

"Follow up with the mission?! Disable the fucking room? You could have blown up the whole structure with us inside! One button was enough to kill us all. JUST ONE." His voice was raising and raising the more words would come out of his mouth, at that speed he would wake everyone up in the span of minutes.

"Loki disabled it though" You stated almost as a matter of fact as you swallowed an invisible lump in your throat. You knew it was not a good point, AT ALL. Even more since you knew that it was essential to follow the mission rigorously.

"Yes he did, before you ran away and he had to chase you" he rested against a chair letting out a desperate sigh. "And the room was empty" he closed his hand in a tight fist. "I never thought that I would end up thanking Loki" he groaned.

"t was not empty, I swear." you could feel the tears building up in your eyes.

"Y/n there was no blood, no bed, no child" Tony walked towards you and crouched. With his finger he raised your head trying to read your eyes like something was wrong. He let out one more frustrated sound before taking a breath and trying to calm down.

"HE WAS RIGHT THERE" You raised your voice as you took away Tony's hand from your face, before turning towards Loki that was resting against the wall with a thoughtful and tired look on his face.

"Loki tell them. You were there" you pleaded towards him.

"Darling.." he hesitated as he got closer too sitting a few feet away, yet close enough to reach over for you if needed. His eyes widened as stared. Tony instead sat back and followed the interaction as it developed.